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Struggling

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#2
i am struggling to stay alive,
i am struggling to do the simplest tasks
i am astruggling to breath,
to wake up and get up
i am struggling to talk, keep up a conversation
i am struggling whether or not to take those pills
those magic death pills
i am struggling
 
#3
Hi dying_inside
I'm so sorry to see you are struggling this much. Please can you tell us what is going on for you? How you are feeling? If you feel too unsafe, please call a crisis hotline, as you're number one priority has to be keeping you safe. If you can't do that yet know you are unable to keep safe, please go to the hospital, where you can receive adequate support and treatment. Let us know how you're doing
 
#4
hey im sorry your struggling - please dont take the pills... stay and chat to us... tell us what you can and what you need... you are not alone :hug:
 
#5
Thank you,

i've already called the hotiline but didnt do much since it's easter and told me to call after holidays.
i've fallen back to what was more familiar... cutting, drinking, writing, reaching out here...

but the problem is nobody can do anything for me if i dont want to live...

and on one hand i do want to live or i wouldnt struggling so much, but on the other, bigger hand voices in my head says "what for?" "got enough of it, end it all". and i cant stop the voices.

tomorrow i see my doc. i could be hospitalized but i dont want. i've already tried that too and it didnt help, on contrary made it all worse

i dont know how to get on living anymore. im struggling to just breath and pass the following minute, the next second. its really hard and im so so so tired.

i want the pills and i want out. easiest way, but cant see any light at the end of the tunnel...
 
#6
There are surely other crisis hotlines you can call? The one you called sounds very unhelpful. Please try and look online or in a phone book for other crisis lines you can call.

You've said yourself, there is a part of you that wants to live. Keep fighting for that part. don't give up on yourself hon, no matter how difficult it seems. Are there any distraction techniques that work when you feel bad? Writing is good. How about having a bath and reading a book, or watching a DVD? And keep writing here.

Tomorrow please tell your doc just how bad you are feeling, you deserve support, but the only way you can receive the support you need is if the professionals around you know the full story.

:hug:
 

total eclipse

SF Friend
Staff Alumni
#8
I hope they do hun get some treatment some support hospital is a safe place you can rest there while they change your meds around let us know how you are doing okay hugs
 

icequeen

Well-Known Member
#9
hi dying inside, hope you got on ok with your doc yesterday and that he could offer you some support. maybe hospital is an option at this point if only to keep you safe until your emotions settle down to a point you have more control.

i am sure we would all like to know how you got on :hug:
 
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