struggling

[icequeen]

emailed therapist early this morning but things have changed. i really want two end it all. i cant deal with this i just want to die

 

[dying_inside]

could you tell us what is it that you cant deal with?

 

[tweetypie]

when you next get on line send me an im if you need someone to talk to we are here for you honey !!!! *big bear hug* :pinkrose: :love:

 

[icequeen]

exposure is screwing with my head..i even rang samaritans to try and ground me. had meeting with drug and alc team this morning, they were really nice. i just dont have the will to live

 

[MoAnamCara]

In all of this, you have to look after you. Never mind whatever therapist is putting you through the exposure etc., they need to understand what this is doing to you. And maybe do it with someone else or just drop it for a bit until you get some other things sorted out?

I hate to see you this way, please stay safe. Keep reaching out, please.

 

[eagle]

please hang in there. you are such a well-liked person here and everyone would miss you if you left

 

[icequeen]

you are all so kind..you have all kept me breathing...but therapy is sooooo hard and it just makes me feel weak and a failure all over again. god, even the alc team didnt think it was right for them to intervene even tho they are concerned. how bad did i come over. now i feel bad cos i cant help peeps here...i dont really care for me..but i feel bad that again i cant help others in more need. i thought i had a grip on this...but latest therapy has pushed too many buttons. email from therapist says i am doing ok...but ...he has no idea as i dont tell him everything.

i am grateful for your support...but please dont waste it on me..i am just having a major wobble...and have decided to quit the exposure stuff for tonight.

:grouphug:

 

[tweetypie]

Support is far from wasted honey. We will be here through the good times and the bad and the unbearable and we will be here whether or not you do anymore therapy. You are such a kind person and you need to look after yourself too! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[icequeen]

thank you all again, felt so bad on not doing exposure therapy i rang samaritans to vent in rl...it helped enough to decide i am not wrong for not going further tonight and so hopefully will sleep easier.

if team yesterday keep to their word, i will have acupuncture on friday designed to relieve anxiety/stress and loads of other crap...will see if it comes off.

i am going to slow it all down to my pace and not their pace and if they drop me i will deal with it.

:grouphug:

 

[Wanteddead]

Hey icequeen I hope you're doing better.



Do you have OCD?

If you want to chat I'm here to listen, feel free to PM me.

Take care and stay strong you deserve to be happy.

 

[icequeen]

thanks guys...been up since 0445, nightmares, but once i made decision not to push the exposure as hard as they seem to want much calmer today. had a half attempt early but sent axiety soaring so quick and havent got back to it and not sure i will tonight.

will try and see if i can sleep more tonight as i have appt with OT tomorrow and i dont want to scare my friend again if we do the coastal walk.

*injects the forum with big helping of hope and :Jehuty:*

 

[Petal]

:hug: I'm proud of you for making it this far. I hope tomorrow goes okay, keep us updated hun. we care! x

 

[icequeen]

OT appointment was hard...lucky not to throw up..couldnt see it through to the end, but i did it. next session she actually wants me to eat what i have to cook, and dreading it but if acupuncture comes off it might be ok. wont know till tomorrow if i have acupuncture as she has not phoned as promised so will need to ask therapist if he knows about it. hate peeps that say will ring or do this or that and then you dont hear.

thank u all here..ground me so much.

:hug: to everyone