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Stuck In a Dead End; Beyond Frustrated....UGH!!!!

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by mbczion, Aug 4, 2013.

  1. mbczion

    mbczion Well-Known Member

    I am stuck in the ultimate dead end and am pulling my hair out (well, what little left I have). For those who aren't familiar with me (from my intro post), my wife (soon to be ex) and I are going through a rough divorce. Both the mediator and my STBX's (soon to be ex's) lawyer agreed that we can't afford to get divorced until we sell our home. We actually had a neighbor who was interested in our place because she wanted her son to live right above her. She offered us 25% more than we paid for it (even after taking into account the renovations we did to the apartment). I was all for taking our neighbor's offer and moving on with this divorce, so we could save our two kids as much trauma as possible and everyone would be able to get on with their lives as soon as possible. My STBX rejected the offer because she wants more money:grief: Unfortunately because both our names are on our home, neither of us can sell it unilaterally. My STBX got a realtor who I never approved of or signed for who said we can get about $50-60 thousand more dollars for our place if we do renovations (i.e. painting and replacing the air conditioner). The problem is we are broke and don't have extra money for renovations. We really missed the boat with our neighbor's offer because she would have been willing to take our home as is for a decent price. My STBX is greedy and stubborn so she sabotaged the sale and we are back to square one. All the mediator and my STBX's brilliant lawyer can suggest is for my STBX and I to move out so our place can be cleaned up, painted, and the a/c fixed, but hello!!!! We don't have an extra penny to our name to do renovations, let alone moving expenses and to start paying landlord/s for rent. Is there a charity organization I don't know about for situations like these? Are there contractors who would be willing to let us pay ONLY after we sell our place and landlords who would be willing to let us live in their apartments rent free for now and pay later, after we sell. Whenever I ask the mediator these questions, all she can say is "you have 3 options: 1) you get lucky and someone will buy your place as is (we had that with our neighbor and missed that boat, thanks to my STBX) 2) we all move out, do renovations, etc. and hopefully our place will sell faster and for more money (yeah, if only we had money to move out, do renovations, etc.) 3) or we decide we can't afford to get divorced and both remain miserable."

    Unfortunately, it looks like it will be #3. I will need to remain married to and keep living with a beeyotch who couldn't care if I live or die:Cry:

  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    It seems she is sabotaging the sale because she does not want marriage to end I am sorry she has done this to you
  3. mbczion

    mbczion Well-Known Member

    She was the one who tried to intimidate me to move out (w/o a court order, an agreement, before selling our home, etc.) and then she was the one who threatened to move out when she saw I wasn't budging. She wanted to "get rid of me" so bad, so you would think she would have just jumped on our neighbor's offer and been done with it. The only explanation I have is what I knew already - she is a nut job!!!!
  4. X_X

    X_X Member


    Aren't there any friends you could stay at?

    Have you tried telling her, in a nice calm way, that if she wants to end this marriage too, then

    things will become substantially easier if you both work out some things to work towards?
  5. mbczion

    mbczion Well-Known Member

    Right now (before we are officially divorced, have signed an agreement, etc. etc.), I cannot leave my home or I will be considered as a father who abandoned my kids.

    My STBX cannot be reasoned with at the moment. The light is on and nobody is home. She would cut off her nose to spite her face:frusty: