Every morning i wake up, eat, watching some tv, smoke some cigaretes maybe some computer\internet, and then sleep. every day is the same, again and again, no changes. What can one feel when he see how he stuck in such sicle of time? this loop with no start or end, when i lost the feeling of time yet im counting seconds? I can make time go faster, knowing that it dosnt effect me in any way becouse its a sicle and it dosnt matter how fast it goes. No changes, for month after month. I have the fealing that it will last forever untill i will die, or kill myself, this is the only escape. I tryed to brake out of this sicle, to find a job, but failed. I tryed to find new hobbys, also failed. I feel no need in anything, i feel like im dead, and im stuck in this sicle of life the only way out of it is to die, i must die, this is the only way out!