I've been depressed and suicidal for almost 20 years (Most of my life) for various reasons, but it's always boiled down to extreme self-hatred and hating my life and feeling that I'm a failure. The main thing I've been most down on myself for in recent years is the fact that not only can I not get into a relationship, but I can't even get a date. I dated once in my life for a few months, broke up with her almost six years ago, and haven't been able to find anyone else since. I've been upset about other things that have improved slightly, like not being able to find a job and finding one in recent months, but I still lack a love life and a heavy social life, my interests are too limited, and I can't figure out how to fix either. As a result, what other people see as accomplishments and victories for me mean nothing to me. I still think I'm a pathetic loser, and the way I see it, if I was ever going to get another date, it would have happened already. Because of this, I'm gearing up to kill myself, as I'll just feel lonely and inadequate for the rest of my life if I choose to live it. Any thoughts?