stuck in between

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by justmeonlyme, Mar 5, 2010.

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  1. justmeonlyme

    justmeonlyme Long Time SFer Staff Alumni

    idk what to do anymore i cant go on living like this but i cant end things i just dont no what to do i feel so traped i just dont no what to go what do you do when you are no longer living but cant atchly die... everything hurts i wish i could just end things and get it over and done with but i care about my sister to much i couldnt do that to her she is one of the only things keeping me here. people try to help but theres not really anything anyone can do the only thing that keeps me going is the self harm but im been forced to give that up... idk how much longer i can go on like this i feel like im gana crack soon idk what to do im scared and alone and i need help but no one will take me seriously coz ive gotten so good at hiding everything... :(
     
  2. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    What have you tried to make things change? Have you got any professional support?

    I'm so glad that you are fighting for your sister. She is so lucky to have you.
     
  3. justmeonlyme

    justmeonlyme Long Time SFer Staff Alumni

    in the past yr ive seen 4 cansalars they dont take me seiously coz i live a normal life im "happy" i do all the "normal" teen things and i alway seem happy no one noes sees the real me and after been icnored so many times i gave up asking for help i still see a cansalar but dont really talk to her about things
     
  4. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry you've been let down by those counsellors.

    The one tat you currently see, how do you get on with her? Do you think you could communicate with her about how you really feel?
     
  5. justmeonlyme

    justmeonlyme Long Time SFer Staff Alumni

    i cant i tryed writing her a letter once and she prity much just brushed it off and i havent tryed since and i cant really say things out loud so i always just end up saying things are going ok even if there not like like i saw her today and last night i was close to ending things she asked how things had been going i said things where going prity well i just cant talk to people about things
     
  6. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    Yeh, I figured you couldn't verbalise, which was why I said communicate, because there are many ways to communicate with someone.

    Ok, so she was not receptive to a letter (which is a bit stupid of her, to be honest).

    How about a bullet point list of what is going on for you? Or do you write poems? Or any prose or anything? Do you do art? Could you use your art to communicate? Anything like that?
     
  7. aviewfromchaos

    aviewfromchaos Well-Known Member

    this is the same way i feel about my counsellor. im glad to see that im not the only one.
     
  8. justmeonlyme

    justmeonlyme Long Time SFer Staff Alumni

    i cant i dont even feel safe telling her things after i was prity much just icnored the 1st time im to scared to try again i cant its just to scary i cant!
     
  9. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    I hear you. It sounds like things with this counsellor are never going to be ideal. Have you tried to talk to her about feeling rejected and ignored?

    Do you think you could try and find someone else who works better for you?
     
  10. justmeonlyme

    justmeonlyme Long Time SFer Staff Alumni

    i cant we cant aford anyone else she is the one who is in my area that i can get for free other wise i have to pay and we dont have the money
     
  11. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    Do you think maybe that you can talk to her about feeling ignored? So not necessarily open up to her about anything just yet, just talk to her about how you felt when she ignored you, and that you are now scared to tell her the truth?
     
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