So i was sexually abused as a kid throughout my childhOod. I suffered in silence for 12years and have finally told my parents and the police. The offender was my step dad. Hes now left pending investigation and now my mums on her own with his kids. My sister and i Live with our dad. I feel so alone and always have done. I feel noone cares. I go to bed numb. Normally hoping that i just wont wake up. Ive slept around done drugs drank, but i am not addicted to drugs just every now and then to ease the pain in my chest. Ive pushed my friends away. Ive put on weight through comfort eating. My sister experienced the childhood stuff but she doesnt talk to my mum she ignores me. I spend my time working (caring for others in a pharmacy) and looking after my mum and little siblings. I cant cope i feel my world has come crashing down. I feel suicidal all the time. I cry non stop. I spend my money quick and easily. I want a way out and its eating me up inside.