stuck

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by undercoverlover, Mar 30, 2013.

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  1. undercoverlover

    undercoverlover Well-Known Member

    told my therapist i would tell my parents next time im feeling suicidal. i promised her. but i cant tell them. i just want to rot away with this feeling. hopefully it will kill me. my therapist said that the main reason i seem to be so distressed is because my lack of sleep but i am not allowed to have sleeping pills because of my current state. im not allowed alone in house anymore. i dont like it.
    i want to die. i feel like thats the only way to get better.
     
  2. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    :hug: I can't understand why you can't have sleeping pills if you're distressed so much because of lack of sleep. What reason did they give? Also, I think it's a great idea that you tell your parents the next time you are feeling suicidal. The more support, the better. Keep talking here if it helps and know that you are NOT alone.
     
  3. undercoverlover

    undercoverlover Well-Known Member

    they cant give me sleeping pills because i am actively thinking about suicide and my therapist thinks i will harm myself with them (and i couldnt really disagree). i will try to talk to my mom tonight but i think i just scare her when i do.
     
  4. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Ah, I understand now. They were afraid I would do that with my meds before, so they made a plan, that I collect my medications DAILY and have someone watch me take them. It worked and today I am feeling much better :)

    Also, don't be scared, I'm sure they just want to help you out as much as possible x
     
  5. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    was also going to say that they can give you only enough sleeping meds for a day time or have parents dispense the meds i have to dispense my duaghter meds for her
    there is also natural sleeping aides that won't harm you ask your doctor about melatonin
     
  6. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Plus 1 for the melatonin suggestion, it works wonders for sleep for many, I was on it before :)
     
  7. undercoverlover

    undercoverlover Well-Known Member

    we had melatonin in the house but my mom got rid of it after i told her i was suicidal.
     
  8. undercoverlover

    undercoverlover Well-Known Member

    im also on valarian for sleep, which is a natural supplement, but its not enough. i drank some chamomile tea last night, however, and got to sleep way before the usual time. i still feel very anxious despite being on both xanax and abilify and i miss my friend isabelle, but my therapist said that our friendship was unhealthy, and i agreed. so i ended it. but i really miss her, she was the only one that listened and understood, and i want a friend like that again--only this time, one that doesnt criticize me in return. its eating me alive every time i see her or a post from her on facebook or twitter or tumblr and it makes me feel guilty and terrible. she doesnt care if i die. i guess it was nice of her to pretend, though.
     
  9. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    would she be willing to let you take herbal/natural things such as melatonin or valerian or passionflower on the basis that she has control over the pills?
     
  10. undercoverlover

    undercoverlover Well-Known Member

    melatonin has never really helped but valerian somewhat does. im seeing my sleep doctor tomorrow though as well as my neurologist so hopefully we can get things worked out.
     
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