told my therapist i would tell my parents next time im feeling suicidal. i promised her. but i cant tell them. i just want to rot away with this feeling. hopefully it will kill me. my therapist said that the main reason i seem to be so distressed is because my lack of sleep but i am not allowed to have sleeping pills because of my current state. im not allowed alone in house anymore. i dont like it. i want to die. i feel like thats the only way to get better.