Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Heart Shaped, Jul 18, 2008.

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  1. Heart Shaped

    Heart Shaped Member

    I hesitated so much about making this thread. I don't even know if someone will reply anyway.

    I feel so bad right now, i feel like grabbing a rope and hang myself.
    I hate my life, i hate everything. All of my friends have gone and moved out, they all have better lives and have met better people but not me, even when i tried to achieve all that, i was kicked back here to deal with this misery. Maybe i dont have real problems like tons of people do but i don't care, this is something inside of me. I feel so alone, i feel no one likes me, i don't know why, i'm always nice and i have a lot of dreams but i'm so pathetic that i can't find a way to achieve them. I'm always so scared so closed inside of me, however when i'm around people i'm always trying to just chill and be nice and i don't know.

    My two best friends moved to a city 4 hours away from here, a huge city and i'm so amazed at how their life changed, just so awesome, so peachy. But not me, even though i tried but i don't have what it takes.
    This has gone on for 3 years now and i'm now 18. I feel i'll get older and i'll keep stuck in this situation, i'll keep stuck in loneliness and stuck in misery.

    I'm so sick, so tired of all of this. I even feel bad for feeling sorry for myself, if that makes any sense. I don't want to go on like this, i don't want to keep getting older and still be like this. No one likes me and nothing for me seems to work out, i keep getting slapped in my face.
  2. kenny

    kenny Well-Known Member


    first thing is that at 18, you've only just begun your journey as an adult. Don't measure success as how much someone's life has changed. Ask yourself what YOU want out of life. Do you want to live in a big city 4 hours away from 'home' or are you quite happy where you are?

    why not see if you can visit your friend(s) and while you're there perhaps look into finding a job etc if you like the feel of it.

    I'm sure there are people that like you. Do you really want to move to a place where you have no one you know at all?

    Don't write yourself off at 18, you've got your whole life ahead of you, I promise. Just try to work out what it is that you want.

    Best wishes.
  3. Heart Shaped

    Heart Shaped Member

    As i was reading your reply, i dont know why but i burst in tears.

    And no i'm not quite happy where i am living, i hate this town and that's why my friends left and that's why i left too but i failed at my attempt.
    I feel that to be happy i have to leave this town and i want to leave this town but i'm so limited.

    I started college last year and met a bunch of people and out of that bunch of people i got a new friend, however she's leaving too. It's kinda unfair.

    Anywho, thank you for your words.
  4. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    Is it possible for you to attend college somewhere else? That would get you away from the town you are in, yet offer you a bit of stability by living on campus. Your adult life is just beginning and you will go through many changes in the coming years. You cannot measure your successby what you have seen so far. Take things one step at a time. Figure out what it is you would most like to change and work on that first. When that is accomplished move to the next thing. Soon all will be done.
  5. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    You might want to focus on school right now. Is there a possibility you can go to college elseware? You sound like you are a little on the shy side. Does that effect you when your in groups of people? I never thought I would ever say this but have you checked into group therapy. It might just be the thing for you. At 18 you have many years to have the things you want.
    The reason I say focus on school is you will need all that knowledge to land a good paying job. That is where this world is heading. Hell even your blue collar jobs are wanting to see you papers.(diplomas). I wish you luck and if you need to talk just PM me and I will be happy to talk to you.:chopper:
  6. lildude003_in

    lildude003_in New Member

    unfortunately i am stuck up with my life i want to end it any hlpers ..plsss email me secrecy assured ....
  7. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    No one is going to provide you help with methods and please don't try and take over someone else's thread. Back to the original poster.
  8. Heart Shaped

    Heart Shaped Member

    This is kinda funny. Yesterday at college, i talked to my friend about how miserable i feel living here and she told me about moving out with her. I so want to do it, like i've said before, this town depresses me all the time, everything here brings me a lot of memories and they're not so pleasant.
    So yeah, i'm focusing on that (i'll still go on with college, we'll both attend college in the city).

    Thanks a lot for your words.

    Yes and that's why i haven't dropped college. I know i need this for my life.
    There are just some times when i feel like dropping everything and kill myself because i feel that no matter how hard try things here, it always leads to the same thing. Nothing ever changes here. I need to get out of here, leave this state for once and that's what i want to focus on now, thanks to my friend i have that opportunity.

    Thank you a lot for helping me.
    I really appreciate it guys.
  9. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    You know just talking to you here on the forum I can tell you are a kind and considerate person. You should do well in life. Just give it some time and keep thinking positive thoughts.
  10. Anime-Zodiac

    Anime-Zodiac Well-Known Member

    Try not to compare yourself to your friends. You will not be stuck where you are now, things will turn for the better and it will make you a even stronger person.
  11. Rita_alt

    Rita_alt Member

    Many of your words are a true mirror of what i've been feeling for so long. That makes us to in the same boat. If you count the others that have already replied to you and showed to understand what you are feeling now, you'll see that you are not alone. You'll find understanding and support.

    You have 18; your life has been very difficult to deal with in the last three years, but NOTHING says to you that it always be like that. Gentlelady and Stranger1 have mentioned the importance that school can mean to you right now and I share the same opinion. It's a goal, and it may be the better way for you to change your life for real, into something better, that gives you everything what you lack inside now. You have that, so please hold on to that. Things might realy change. Give yourself that chance. And after all that you have been through, when you get those changes you'll be able to find even more pleasure and hapiness in that than a common person, because you'll surely know the true value of it.

    PM me at anytime If you want/need to, please.:smile:
  12. Heart Shaped

    Heart Shaped Member

    That's what i've always been frightened about. That no matter how hard i try, my life will be the same.

    I will PM you :smile:


    This really helped me.
    I was kinda scared at first that i would get replies like "get over yourself :dry:"
    But you guys give supportive and hopeful words that can make a difference. Thanks a lot.
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