Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by GA_lost, Apr 19, 2009.

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  1. GA_lost

    GA_lost Well-Known Member

    This is the only forum I can directly address my suicidal feelings. Yes my feeling of hopelessness has grown. I tried to increase my personal contacts on a different forum. Felt ignored and dismissed. One of my triggers is the feeling of being ignored makes me feel hopeless and suicidal. Found that even in the relative safety of the internet I can get this feeling. I know I need to break out of my isolation but I run the risk of triggering suicidal feelings. A catch 22 situation stay in my shell and get more and more depressed or else try to break out and get hurt, depressed, and suicidal. Either way my suicidal feelings increase. Why should I take chances just drift away to oblivion?
  2. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    I can relate to that a lot and I too find it a big trigger, however, it's important to remember that not all encounters with people will lead to you feeling invalidated and potentially suicidal because there will be people around that do listen and do pay attention to you. It's just a case of finding them.

    Have you ever sought professional help for how you feel?
  3. GA_lost

    GA_lost Well-Known Member

    I currently have a therapist and a psychiatrist. This has been my biggest sticking point in therapy. Been trying to get up the courage to go out again, but when the same thing happens on the internet the risk in doing it for real becomes much higher.
  4. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    I'm really glad you have some professional support :)

    It's actually far easier to be rejected on the internet than in real life. On the internet people can pick and choose easier, detach from their feelings easier, pretend to be something they aren't, be doing several things at once, relate less to the person, plus you also lose all the non verbal communications like voice tone, gestures, space, volume, etc.

    Have you thought about doing something like volunteer work? Because you could do that work and build up confidence, and generally the people you work with will be very grateful for any help you can give, thus you shouldn't get rejected for doing things.
  5. WildCherry

    WildCherry ADMIN

    I just wanted to reply so that you know I read your post. I don't have much to add in the way of advice, because the suggestions given above are good ones; but I hope you have a good experience with this forum. There are people out there who care and who will talk to you. Sometimes it takes a while to get replies, because people from many time zones are on at all different hours of the day. But there are lots of us around to offer help and support.
  6. GA_lost

    GA_lost Well-Known Member

    I have tried volunteer work, classes, even got a part time job for a month. I am officially retired now from work (a federal job). Have not been able to completely turn the corner to getting my life back on track. While I am thinking about suicide as of now I doubt if I would do it. Would not take much to push me to that point though.
  7. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    It's all about baby steps when it comes to beating issues like this. Maybe its about going right back to basics and taking small achievable steps. Yes, it's VERY scary, but maybe it's worth doing.

    It sounds like you have come a long way and have turned some of the corner, but that you also have work to do, and that's ok. It is just a case of small steps and keeping fighting.

    I'm really glad that right now suicide is a thought, and not an action.

    Has posting helped in any way?
  8. GA_lost

    GA_lost Well-Known Member

    Posting mainly helps in getting my own thoughts in order. Also other forums frown on directly addressing suicidal urges. I understand why but when it comes up I need someplace to vent them and establish how close I am really.
  9. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    :) This is definitely the place to do it, and I hope it helped you to get some sort of clarity about your thoughts. :)
  10. fromthatshow

    fromthatshow Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    well I'm glad you found this place then
    :welcome: to the forum
    You won't be ignored here. Plenty of support. Everyone knows what you're going through. We're here for you :hug:
  11. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    I understand why you I solate , I am the same way.. After being in therapy for four years I have started venturing out to places.. I started by just going to this park down by the river and just sit there people watching, this led me to starting to go places early in the morning.. I still can't go out during the day.. My anxiety goes thru the roof..Do yourself a favor and stick with therapy.. It has really helped me..Anytime you need to vent or just talk by all means let it rip, Thats what we are here for to show you support...
  12. Rosenrot

    Rosenrot Forum Buddy

    Well, what is it that is causing you to feel so suicidal?
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