Stupid act could ruin my life

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Rainfall, May 12, 2012.

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  1. Rainfall

    Rainfall Well-Known Member

    I flashed a girl my dick. That might not seem too stupid. It was in a private place. But it is stupid if you have the most amazing girlfriend, and that's nit the girl you flashed too.

    The girl I flashed to is called Maria, she says she loves me. She said that after I was celebrating my charity walk finish, and I had three beers...well, my drinks were spiked, but still. Of course, I love Taylor, deeply, more than anything. She's all I've got left. So I had to pretend that I loved Maria back, so I said 'I love you too but I can't be with you, I love Taylor more". She's suicidal too, and I start to feel really guilty, and my mind's confused by the alcohol. So I flash her it, just because she needed to feel special. There was no touching involved, no making out, just that...

    But almost immediately I panic. I've betrayed Taylor's trust.

    I tell Maria this has all been a big mistake, and she agrees. I tell Taylor what happened almost immediately, I don't want to hide anything from her. If I never told her, she would have never known. But I cant lie to her. But, I got no response.

    I hate myself more than ever now. My relationship, the perfect relationship, could be over. I've cut myself deeply seven times, and an breaking down in tears. I am scum, and I absolutely hate myself. I want to die. Why did I do that fucking flash?!
     
  2. Butterfly

    Butterfly Pokémon Master Staff Alumni SF Author SF Supporter

    I am sorry that you are in this situation. We all make mistakes and blips from time to time. Maybe your gf will forgive you, but can you learn to forgive yourself? But on the other hand, if you do things like this, then it means that something may be missing in your relationship. If you were completely happy, you wouldn't have done this. You need to think about what you really want and take some time to see whether your relationship is really working out. Don't stay with her just because she's suicidal, you need to be honest about the situation. it may be hard in the long run, but she will appreciate honestly rather than you sticking with her just because she's suicidal because it will destroy you both in the long run.
     
  3. Rainfall

    Rainfall Well-Known Member

    There's nothing missing fir the relationship...and she's forgiven me too. I'm just so lucky to have Taylor.
     
  4. MisterBGone

    MisterBGone Well-Known Member

    Then you've found that quintessential perfect girl: one who trusts and forgives, thinks - considers - & understands.... She who can make rational decisions at time when emotional explosions might be warranted & necessary... But I think, that given all of the factors you've stated, it makes sense for the two of you to carry on, if it was anything remotely considered to be a solid, positive, fun relationship! To me, it sounds like a misdemeanor at most, and not a crime, even in the least! Now, if my girlfriend did this with another man, I would not be happy....but I would ask the question why? And if the answer was similar to your explanation I might be alright with it, eventually, totally cool in fact.:) What would make it not okay, is if it was symptomatic of a flawed relationship, where she was seeking out something missing, that I wasn't giving her, etc. But it sounds like you've got it all worked out and have learned from your mistakes, so I wish you well.
     
  5. Rainfall

    Rainfall Well-Known Member

    Thanks ^^
     
  6. Butterfly

    Butterfly Pokémon Master Staff Alumni SF Author SF Supporter

    If she has forgiven you and can truly put this to the back of her mind and doesn't let it bother her, then you need to do the same thing. You need to forgive yourself and draw a line in the sand.
     
  7. ExtraSoap

    ExtraSoap Well-Known Member

    sometimes shit happens, and you just gotta roll with it. Easier said then done, I know, but that's what it all boils down to in the end.
     
  8. Prox

    Prox Active Member

    Gotta love the Rainbowdash avi there ^

    I would think "the perfect relationship" would survive such a minor incident. Cherish it, man — not everyone gets one. But you've gotta stop victimizing yourself. It's unhealthful for you, and for your loved one. You've got to stay strong for her, man. Do you think she likes it when you cut yourself deeply in her name?
     
  9. ExtraSoap

    ExtraSoap Well-Known Member

    Yar. Rainbow Dash is best pony.
     
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