Im really fuckin pathetic and stupid, i feel like a fuckin immature child but theres this guy i like at work and everyone knows i like him including him, do you know what this is to pathetic to write about im not even going to bother fuck it theres no point i dont know why i fuckin bother thinking sometimes crap just pours out of my mouth. i thought i was ok with things but im not fuck it them suicidal thoughts are always in my fuckin mind why am i kidding myself that some i guy i like will make things better for me hes not going to stick around who the hell wants to be with someone who wants to kill themselves? Shit i hate myself i havent cut my self for a week but im desperate to do it now. I like some stupid boy alot and hes not going to like me, fuck i just want to be normal WHY CANT I BE FUCKIN NORMAL! Im ugly fat and stupid and the worst thing is its my family who tell me this, they dont say it in a nasty way but in a truthful way i know its true. i hate myself i wish i was fuckin dead nothing i do is good enough for anybody im a fuckin failure at everything so much so that iv carved the word into my skin. Hes not going to want me why the fuck would he? Even if he does once i tell him i cant see him becasue of my fuckin family he wont stick around. Im a fuckin fool for letting myself believe that i could make things work they wont work they never do, why cant someone just fuckin kill me. Im so fuckin unhappy and lonely im tired of pertending im happy im so tired of not being happy. Fuck it i will cut myself why the fuck shouldnt i! i like it, it feels fuckin good, so what if its meant to be wrong i dont think its wrong, its my fuckin blood.