Stupid girl.

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by Inque, Apr 10, 2009.

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  1. Inque

    Inque Member

    And I felt his breath, the soft murmur of a voice, warm and close calling me back to consciousness.
    I feel beautiful. He's beautiful.
    I'm dreaming.

    He's expressed that he doesn't want anything romantic to do with me. I've been instructed to not call for at least a week. My calls are not welcome. I haven't wanted for someone like this in longer than I can remember and now I'm not supposed to even be able to hear his voice. He tells me I'm attractive and hot but we have no chemistry- apparently.

    Silly kisses on nose and across necks. Breakfast in bed. Always quick to light up each other's smoke. Massages. Inside jokes and nicknames. Sharing a bed night after night, sleeping only when we were finally exhausted. Thoughtful things. Things I don't dismiss as casual interaction. Those moments where you catch each other's eyes and suddenly you're 4 years old again, playing in the sandbox with someone you just met, having the fucking time of your goddamn star-crossed life.

    I'm so tired of never being good enough. I just want to be enough for someone. I'm taking it out on him, like I did to my ex.
    I just want to know I'm worth something, that the things I do mean something.

    I feel so, so, so worthless. Discarded.
    I wish I was better, prettier, less broken- whatever he needs me to be.

    I just want to be enough for someone.
     
  2. Robin

    Robin Guest

    Sometimes what we want is not what we need and life has a habit of placing us right where it needs us, it's not always pleasant for us but if we can make the most of what we have and simply ask ourselves what is the best way to serve others when we have lost ourselves in a storm, can really help us find a place we can settle and truly be happy :)
     
  3. plates

    plates Well-Known Member

    I can empathise with rejection and mixed messages 100%.

    Can't you see how beautiful you are though? Do you need him to make you feel worthwhile?

    Maybe his reasons weren't honest. Maybe he has his own issues. Maybe what he said, has got very little to do with you.
     
  4. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Don't give away the milk before you sell the cow!! Have you ever heard that before.. Keep him guessing, and don't give in so easy..If he's interested he will start reacting in a more positive way..
     
  5. plates

    plates Well-Known Member

    :laugh: your post made my day. thank you.
     
  6. statman

    statman New Member

    everything you wrote was beautiful. i wish i was enough for my certain someone too.
     
  7. hammockmonkey

    hammockmonkey Well-Known Member

    Dismantle your evaluation. He's beautiful, full of life. A being that wants you physically but admits that he doesn't want you emotionally.

    This is not a fault on your part. People are weird.

    Don't fall for the easy thing that's just right in front of you at the moment. Also, don't forger the morbid assumptions and thoughts people have about the past.

    You are, but you have to be enough for yourself too.

    Sorry I sound patronizing. I'm a drunk fuckup.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: May 15, 2009
  8. tierd

    tierd Member

    this is the first post i answerd in here.. i read allot of posts and your all great.. but this one really touched me .. i got a tear in my eye thanks to you :p stay strong girl, a better man will come along and make it better soon for you i know..
     
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