Stupid Me

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by FUBAR, Nov 19, 2011.

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  1. FUBAR

    FUBAR Account Closed

    I'm not quite sure where to start with this, but I'll go for it..
    I have a history of self-harm, as a lot of the members here's nothing new to me, but I have worked to try and avoid that as often as possible. Anyway, it has been a while since I self-harmed the way I normally do, but I have no managed to find something else. I am normally a cutter but I guess that just became something that annoyed me more than relieved anything. So yesterday I was doing some exercises and Tae Kwon Do stuff, and ended up hitting my arm on my hurt, but I didn't think much of it. Later, I got frustrated with myself and remembered the pain from before so decided to do it several more times. Now I am just a little concerned that I may have done some damage. I was sent home from work final day of training and they made me leave because of my arm. It is heavily bruised and painful, but I did not intend to go to the doctor until work told me I must have a doctor's note before I can return to work. Now I'm just paranoid about what they might think at the hospital. :/ I don't expect sympathy from anyone as I did it to myself..I just enjoy the pain, I guess but I didn't want it to effect my work in the way that it has. I also think that my partner does not believe what happened and she seems upset with me.

    Sorry, I don't think this makes much sense..just trying to talk..I dunno.
  2. windlepoons

    windlepoons Well-Known Member

    That's very unfortunate FUBAR. You must think of what to say at the hospital, for instance say you did it working out, if you think that is believable, or doing DIY.

    Does your partner know you self harm? If so she may be upset as she sees this as escalation which is obviously a bad sign. Can you talk to her about her feelings?
  3. FUBAR

    FUBAR Account Closed

    Thanks for the response and the advice. I ended up going to the ER last night because my employer told me that I needed the note to return to work. I just told them it happened during some Tae Kwon Do exercises, which it did..just part of it was intentional and part of it was not. I did not share that part with them. They have now told me it will be at least a that means one week without a paycheck, but at least I still have a job.

    My partner does know that I self harm, and has from the very beginning, before we even started dating. I'm not sure if she knows that it still happens more often than I let on but that's something I try to keep to myself. I don't know what more to say, other than I appreciate the reply.
  4. texaskitty

    texaskitty SF Cat Lady Staff Alumni SF Supporter


    Sorry I didn't see this sooner.

    Just wanted to let you know I am here for you, you know how to contact me anytime.

    You are a sweetie, and not stupid at all.
  5. windlepoons

    windlepoons Well-Known Member

    Well done, you faced the problem and solved it. I hope you can do the same with your SH.
  6. GamerrGrrl

    GamerrGrrl Member

    I'm glad everything worked out alright Fubar.
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