Stupid Mistake

Discussion in 'After Effects' started by Lilah, Feb 19, 2011.

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  1. Lilah

    Lilah New Member

    My first serious attempt was about four years ago. I took a cocktail of <Edit Moderator Total Eclipse Method> After about 15 min., I started to feel the effects, so I decided to lie down in my bed. Apparently, I got out of my bed and went to the bathroom where I threw up in the toilet, passed out on the floor, and hit my head. A few minutes later, my little brother came home and found me. He freaked out and called my parents who rushed home and took me to the emergency room. They pumped my stomach and stitched up my head. My father convinced him that it was accidental (he used to work at the hospital and knows a lot of the people there). Really, the attempt didn't bother me as much as my little brother finding me. I don't think I'll ever be able to forgive myself for that. I can't imagine how he must've felt, seeing me like that. I destroyed his childhood because of my own selfishness.
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 19, 2011
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I am glad you are okay now and i hope your brother is well too. I think your dad talking to him will help him I am also glad you now see how others are affected deeply at the time you could not see this as you were not in the right state of mind but i am glad you won't try again Next time call for help okay and talk to someone hugs to you.
  3. warrabinda

    warrabinda Well-Known Member

    what's your relationship like now with your brother?

    I think the thing is it was a mistake, obviously you never intended to be found. Attempting suicide, regardless of the pompous philosphical disucssions, is not a rational act. it's from a dark and irrational place.

    you never intended to hurt him; realising you inadvertently have you have expressed remorse and have no intentions to do it again.

    does he talk about it at all? how old was he? have you spoken to him about it?
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