For setting a date so far in the future. Now I'm going to disappoint myself!!! I just cant hold on. When everything around me is showing me how unnecessary I really am in this world. When the pain of it all is so overwhelming. When I'm sitting here at almost 2am and alone with just my thoughts and feelings. I have no reason not to. It would just be starting off from where I left off a couple of Fridays ago. Already been drinking and the rest is easy from here. And why would anyone want to help me be safe and waste their time just so that I can meet my future date. So confused about so many things but yet so sure of one thing. And right this second that is all I need.