I got back several hours ago from a visit to the emergency room. I hadn't cut for almost a month and had almost forgotten how good it feels. Just got the urge today and decided to act on it, not intending to do any serious damage. I started off with a few small cuts on my legs and got carried away and put a big gash on my calf. It took a minute for me to realize that I'd cut myself really deep, that I'd gone through several layers. By that time I was bleeding everywhere in the bathroom and panicked. Fortunately I had the presence of mind to tie a towel around it and walk to the hospital (pretty close, about 20 minutes). I feel like an idiot for going overboard like that and now my roommate knows that I cut (not that he said anything, but he was back before I was and got a chance to clean up all the blood). What really kills me is that I don't know why I did it, nothing in particular was bothering me, I suppose I just wanted to see the blood again. Goddammit, it feels so good but I just can't control it anymore. Anyone else feel like that?