Stupid

I feel really stupid sometimes when I feel like this, stupid for feeling this way, and stupid for not going all the way through with it.

Some people would say I'm a kid, but the feeling I feel and the things I've seen, far surpass a childs nightmares.

I wanna talk about the feelings I feel now though, the feelings of feeling always second best.

I have a little sister, my dad used to abuse me as a young child and call me names telling me I'd never be anything and no one would ever care, I deserve to be in a lunatic assylum etc, truthfully at the time that started my sister was 3 so maybe she doesn't know any better.

My dad always loved her more then me, he used to sit her on his knee and call her his princess, on my 9th b-day he even let her have two of my presents.

She's alot prettier then me and alot more confident, unfortunatly she's also a evil little so-and-so too, when I was first diagnosed with depression and anxiety she persisted in calling me a freak even when company was around.

I've cried alot over what she's said to me over the years, but today it just hit me and I feel really terrible, I'm even alittle jealous of her, of what she has, and I wish I wasn't.

For all who read this, I'm sorry for taking up your time.

 

Hey you are not taking up anybodies time! I am sorry you are feeling like this. My older sister sounds like your little sister, so I know how you feel. The things your dad did to you was not fair at all. It was a horrible thing for you to go through, and I know from experience it makes you feel like your garbage.

But now its your time to show him your better than that. Please hang in there!

 

whilst you are here, you are not taking up anyones time ok. i think the main feeling is that everyone here wants everyone else here to be safe and live. we all talk to each other and we will all talk to you also.

like shellz said, its time to show him you can rise above all that has happened. i am not saying its going to be easy, i cant promise you something like that, it will be hard, but remember that whilst his abuse and his hurt is hanging ober you, it is stopping you from moving on. you owe it to yourself to have the life that you obviously deserve. it will take a long time, but isnt it going to be wroth it in the end?

please hang in there and think off all; the people that would miss you if you were not here anymore..

hugs xx

 

how did he abuse u?did he sexually molest u? did u hit u?did he verbally abuse u?

 

Mental and Verbal.

 

I am sorry that happened to you...

 

how old are u hun?maybe u should consider starting your own life, live some place else, away from those memories...