I feel really stupid sometimes when I feel like this, stupid for feeling this way, and stupid for not going all the way through with it. Some people would say I'm a kid, but the feeling I feel and the things I've seen, far surpass a childs nightmares. I wanna talk about the feelings I feel now though, the feelings of feeling always second best. I have a little sister, my dad used to abuse me as a young child and call me names telling me I'd never be anything and no one would ever care, I deserve to be in a lunatic assylum etc, truthfully at the time that started my sister was 3 so maybe she doesn't know any better. My dad always loved her more then me, he used to sit her on his knee and call her his princess, on my 9th b-day he even let her have two of my presents. She's alot prettier then me and alot more confident, unfortunatly she's also a evil little so-and-so too, when I was first diagnosed with depression and anxiety she persisted in calling me a freak even when company was around. I've cried alot over what she's said to me over the years, but today it just hit me and I feel really terrible, I'm even alittle jealous of her, of what she has, and I wish I wasn't. For all who read this, I'm sorry for taking up your time.