Stupidest poem ever

Discussion in 'Poet's Corner' started by Hangman, Aug 17, 2010.

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  1. Hangman

    Hangman Well-Known Member

    Smothered into silence
    By a bloody, corrupted violence.

    I desperately try to find an empty seat
    When the ground starts to move under my feet.

    The train leaves at half past four
    It must be time, they just locked the door.

    I’m trapped, in a place with no space for me
    No escape as far as my eyes can see.

    In time I will realize, things won’t change a thing
    No matter what the future will bring.

    More blood, more pain; scarring inside, outside
    So why do I still run and hide?

    I need to stand up, forget the grudges that have passed
    I should try to focus on the now, and make it last.

    But who said it would be easy?
    All attempts to say so would be cheesy.

    All I know is that the train is leaving
    I must find a seat, if I want to continue breathing.
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    i like your words how you use them to create mood image it is a great poem
  3. Hangman

    Hangman Well-Known Member

    well thank you Violet :)
  4. Things

    Things Well-Known Member

    Don't call your works stupid. The readers don't like to hear it. ;)

    It's an intense poem. I felt the urge to start clapping by the end of it. The rhymes are powerful and smooth. I like the mix of hope and hopelessness. The way I see it, it's like "I don't really believe things will get better, but I must go on. There's nothing else I can do but hang in there". It doesn't sound encouraging, I know, but in a way I find the thought comforting.
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