stupidest thing i did

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by fixintodie, Dec 1, 2007.

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  1. fixintodie

    fixintodie Active Member

    isolated myself. after a year of isolation one feels left behind, forgotten and pathetic

    BOLIAO Guest

    its my 2nd month in isolation now.
  3. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    Isolation is a common thing for people suffering from depression. While it feels like the best thing to do, it really isn't. It makes things worse in the long run. I know how hard it is to force yourself to go out but you really should. Easier said than done though. Start easing back into things. I will keep you both in my thoughts. :hug:
  4. Mike04

    Mike04 Active Member

    Besides my work, I spend my life in my room, never going out...

    I just have trouble talking to people. And I simply cannot talk with new people; its like something inside of me is afraid, sometimes petrified of talking with people... I want to talk, but I cant. I have no control over the feeling, either, and theres nothing I can do about it, nor anyone else either.

    I hate it so much... I want to talk, and get out more, but cant.
  5. alone0000000001

    alone0000000001 New Member

    "Besides my work, I spend my life in my room, never going out..."

    Your life is my life... I have never heard of anyone else like me, except on this site. Your words describe exactly how I live and feel... alone and petrified. Bitter too?
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 2, 2007
  6. Mike04

    Mike04 Active Member

    Bitter? Mabey - I personally do not know anymore, though.

    My current thought is that I am afraid of being hurt in some way again.

    However, I changed my thought so many times already just trying to understand myself, and why I am this way, that I simply dont know what it is, anymore.

    Mabey I should just stop making these thoughts and just give up on trying, already.
  7. __Rawr.Tigga

    __Rawr.Tigga Well-Known Member

    Isolation. I know it well. I always find myself pushing away from others. I always have done. And now I am left with no friends (I have been replaced, it's hard to explain). It cuts like a knife, straight through the heart to see the people I loved enjoying life without me, because they forgot me, when I started to hide.

    It hurts so fucking much. But still I do it. Why?!
  8. pit

    pit Well-Known Member

    I feel safe when I'm isolated, but then sometimes that's when I feel most out of control. It's dangerous and safe at the same time, I suppose.
  9. rwillson

    rwillson Well-Known Member

    isolation... i isolate amongst others, i isolate the most in crowds, i am the quiet one most the time and unless i have something to relate to you with, i won't say a word...

    i isolate inside at home, except for saying hello to the neighbors i rarely see anybody. i don't isolate at the gym, i know fitness and nutrition, and i can talk fitness and nutrition. i am also lucky one of my best friends from growing up works out at the same gym, but beyond the gym i don't see him...

    lately i am terrified to go out, i get really bad panic attacks (someone hand me my Xanax). i won't go to places with crowds, unless i am comfortable with my settings i isolate. better to stay at home...

  10. TheBrokenGirl

    TheBrokenGirl Well-Known Member

    I've kinda isolated myself for a few months now. I stayed in pretty much all of summer vacation, then went to school for 2 months, and now i'm being homeschooled.
    I just sit in my room all day and the only people i talk to are my mom and long distance boyfriend.
    I regret it... but now it's something that i feel like i can't change because i'm so used to being alone now, and i've lost contact with all my friends. It sucks. :(
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 2, 2007
  11. fixintodie

    fixintodie Active Member

    isolation cuts you off from everything. what the hell are you suppose to say when you run into that once one good friend/aquantence and they ask a simple question:What have you been up to?

    and it's painfully obvious either that your a fuckup or just have gotten ddamn boring to be around
  12. mike25

    mike25 Well-Known Member

    I isolate myself too. Some would call my behaviour reclusive. I just try and project that I'm a very private person.
    That question people ask: "So what have you been up to?"
    I think it's a nosey question. If I wish to divulge what I have been doing, then I will do so without being prompted. There are many other lines of conversation to follow. Social interaction would be more genuine if people put their tongue in neutral more often, instead of constantly blathering.

    Any friendships I had have been demoted to annual emails of mutual well-wishing.
  13. TNTx

    TNTx New Member

    I've got a similar problem, I haven't made friends since middle school (I'm now 20 and in college) because I simply don't like other people and have no confidence to meet anyone new, worrying they'd judge me. It's so bad, it's december now and I still have not seen or talked to the person 6 ft from me in a separate room, though we share a bathroom/livingroom-kitchen, when school started in august.
  14. fixintodie

    fixintodie Active Member

    i also feel stupider. and guilty. anyone been in a istuation like this and came out semi successful? i feel miserable most of the day. . i'm starting to feel it's not worth it.
  15. fixintodie

    fixintodie Active Member

    isolation is lame
  16. TheBLA

    TheBLA The biggest loser alive.

    Its a vicious cycle, you isolate yourself because your depressed and then get more depressed and keep isolating yourself.

    Me for instance, I have cousins up in Canada whom I last visited in 1999, this sounds horrible, my Dad says he'd like to take me to visit them by next summer latest. But I never want to visit them again for the rest of my life. Its not like I don't like them, their very nice. But its that I have isolated myself and so stagnated and am so abnormal and messed up that I don't want to visit them or anyone else because of that. Your so behind in the race and can you even catch up?
  17. Invictus

    Invictus Member

    I am the most isolated I have ever been. Have been signed off work for four weeks now by my Doctor and for another four as well. I am on anti-depressants, but feel worse now than I did a month ago. I dont do anything other than visit the local shop for something to eat once a day. I stay in bed virtually all day and only speak to my Mom occasionally and SMS one person who I have met once off the internet. That is the extent of my social interaction.

    It is easier in the short term to be like this but I am getting worse week by week. Just lack the courage to go back to work and try to pick up the pieces. To be honest I am not sure that I will still be around in four weeks time. With Christmas coming up it may be the best time to finally end it.
  18. fixintodie

    fixintodie Active Member

    same here. i have friends family and relatives whom i haven't seen in a year or more. when i see them the dread comes "what have you been up to??"

    Ugh...."Nothing....i've turned into a ridiculously boring creepy person since you last new me "

    it's bad. i can't even be a decent olderr protective brother off my sister any more. it's not that i don't see her. but it's just that my personal isolation destroys my self esteem and i just don't feel i have any personality any more and qualities worth looking up too.

    May i ask how old you are and Invictus, may i ask how old you are?
  19. TheBLA

    TheBLA The biggest loser alive.

    Oh my goodness, what you said is exactly what I dread as well. I am 20 by the way. I just can't beleive I am 20 years old, I sure as hell aren't like any other 20 years olds (not in a good way).
  20. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    i can really relate to that. there's nothing worse than the feeling of being left behind, or being the loner or the 'abnormal one. ahhh i hate people that like living anyway.
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