Stupidity

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by solarflare, Oct 30, 2015.

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  1. solarflare

    solarflare Well-Known Member

    My wife had a miscarriage.

    Me being the idiot that I am I come out and say "maybe it is because you are overweight".

    She slips into what is staring to look like depression or something similar, at the very least she doesnt like me anymore.

    I'm already suicidal, on the edge, can't cope.

    This is one more step towards the ledge for me.

    I am seriously over it and living is now becoming a chore, I dont even feel I deserve the air I breath.

    How can I be this dumb? I do nothing but spread misery.
     
  2. True-Lee

    True-Lee Well-Known Member

    We all feel that at some point, unfortunately we are all Human, I am sorry for the loss that you both suffered, I feel I have said an done worse but that does not help you right now. Now where can you go? I would walk up to her and hug her! Actions speak louder then words some time I feel, One hug will not make up for what you have said, I don't know if anything will, I would still try! it may take you a while, a long while but if you truly love her, I believe it will be not great in the future, but you may get past this hard time, this is a very traumatic time for both of you but she has a hurt so deep that nothing will erase it. I imagine that what you feel is remorse and guilt, the guilt you have to deal with and get over, the words have been said, they can never be taken back. How far are you willing to go? how much do you love her? Do not beat yourself to death over this, Please don't compound the loss with another, this is a critical time for both of you! How and what You do now will affect you both, I know right now you are hurting that Pain is blinding you to whatever else the two of you may have, take a deep breath now before you say or do something else you may regret, don't rush if there is to be a future for the two of you try to hold on, try to show her that you care that you are sorry if you are able but take it slow right now! It hurts so bad inside you cannot process all that is hitting you! We are here for you, when you are ready, we can wait, we will not push, this has to be when you are ready, when you are ready we will be as well, Hold on to yourself now! Please do not harm yourself, there is enough hurt in the world! I Truly hurt for you both! Please be gentle on yourself
    more hurt is not what either of you need now!
     
  3. SinSentido

    SinSentido Member

    You may not see your value right now, but think of her and what she's already gone through. Your leaving that way would only exacerbate her pain.

    Would she agree to some counseling? It might be the best thing for her
     
  4. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Right now you need to think about the pain she is feeling the loss you both are dealing with No more pain ok stick together through this be silent if you have too but BE THERE when and if she needs to reach out to you
     
  5. solarflare

    solarflare Well-Known Member

    How can I be there for her when im a mess myself? I tried being strong, lasted about 3 days, then I fell apart too, went through all sorts of emotions and now settled back on depression.
     
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