I have had this problem for a long time, but don’t know exactly how to label it in order to find answers. I have a tendency to only be content when I am submerged into something (work, personal project, long book series, etc) that takes a long time to complete. These things I get ‘into’ have the effect of distracting me from my suicidal thoughts and planning. However, all projects come to an end eventually and I have to find something else to distract me. I tried for a long time to fix the suicidal thoughts and make them non-existent … like trying to find a cure I guess. That never happened, obviously. I eventually had to accept there isn’t a cure for SI in my case (maybe others have found a way to extract it from their mind but I haven’t). I had to accept it and just live with the SI and find a way around it because failing at everything I attempted to make it go away was making it worse. I had to do something else. Maybe this stuck SI is just another symptom of my submerging myself into something to distract from something even worse? It was by accident that I found that I could distract my mind from SI, but it took specific types of things. For me, it was college science courses, home improvement projects, long SciFi series -- basically anything that took me away from emotional thinking and more toward the mechanical, scientific, or unreal phenom unrelated to my life. Unfortunately, after 2 BS degrees, several home projects, several long book/tv/movie series, (and no prospects for a job involving any of those things because of my severe introverted mental health causing employers to be too afraid of hiring me – too much of an insurance risk I guess) … I am in a severe rut at finding distractions to keep me going. I have it in me to pull myself out if I only fall into the right project to keep me busy and feeling like I am accomplishing something. However, I am in too much debt now to be able to take more college courses, or involve myself in home projects (materials are expensive), or …. Everything costs money, and I get despondent now even in the middle of projects I like because I can see it will end and will have to find something new again. I get depressed when something I've worked on so long comes to an end ... like I'm grieving a loss. It happens especially with long book series or tv shows. I hold off reading/watching till there is significant material to cover. I submerge myself into it and feel a deep oss when I'm finished. There have been a few times I could extend it by going back to the beginning and traveling through that world again, but it becomes even more depressing when it is over and I have to find something new. When I say I need something to submerge myself into, it needs to be sustainable. I need for it to be never ending, both physically & mentally challenging, doesn’t involve personal interaction or the feeling of being pressured to talk personally with people. Many places tend to look down on you for just wanting to concentrate on work and nothing else. There is pressure to socialize (and then the negative consequences of opening up to someone when I do). I can’t win in those situations. Anyone else have these issues? And is there a term for it that I can look up on the net for professional advice? I’ve tried several phrases … project submersion to avoid mental health issues, workaholic issues to avoid bad thoughts, emotional avoidance leads to work submersion …. There wasn’t anything specifically relevant with my searches. Any help would be appreciated.