I have a really hard time being honest with doctors and therapists. When I first start seeing a new doctor/therapist I tell myself "this time will be different" and I truly intend to be honest, take their advice, and try my best to do what they ask me to do. I'll even warn them that I struggle with being dishonest/non-compliant, and that I'm trying to turn over a new leaf. Then there's a period of time when totally open with them and they start to trust me. It feels good to not have to lie, and I feel proud of myself for putting in the effort and actually dealing with my shit. Eventually I get impatient and frustrated with my lack of progress and "take matters into my own hands" (i.e. lying and manipulating.) Inevitably I also get irritated with their insistence that I quit drinking, tired of failed attempts to quit, and sick of my therapist telling me to stop lying to my prescriber to get the meds I want. Thats when the lying really starts. After a while I realize that talking to my therapist is pointless since so little of what I say is true, so I stop going. Then things fall apart. I end up such an emotional wreck that I even fess up to my prescriber or get a new one and spill my guts to them. And so the cycle goes on. I know that this kind of chronic, almost compulsive dishonesty is a hallmark of addicts and alcoholics. I just don't feel like my drinking or use of prescription drugs is extreme enough to warrant going to rehab. However, my inability/unwillingness to stop keeps me from being able to get real help for my emotional issues outside of a rehab (or other mental health) facility. Anyone have similar issues with being honest, or feeling conflicted about seeking substance abuse treatment?