Substance abuse and suicidal feelings.

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by con_101, Jun 4, 2016.

  1. con_101

    con_101 Member

    Hi, recently I have been abusing drugs to help with my depression. I know it's self destructive and a bad path to go down and I don't like it... But at the same time I love it and it makes me feel alive unlike during the day. Anyone have experience or advice ?
     
  2. lightning05

    lightning05 Well-Known Member

    How long have you been using? I felt the same way when I was abusing drugs. Ironically it was causing me to lose hold on my life and almost cost me my life, but I felt the most alive when I was doing them (not now - at the time). You said unlike during the day, does that mean that you are doing them alone at night? If so it sounds like what I used to do. In the long run it will hurt you emotionally and financially and you may begin to want to do nothing but drugs. It can cause you to lose sight on a lot if you begin to chase a high all day every day. If you are already feeling depressed drugs can magnify that even more and can cause you to think more deeply. I don't know what you're going through but I can tell you that even though I am depressed now I am doing better than when I was doing drugs. I'd never judge or tell you what to do but that is a small part of my experiences.
     
    Brian777 likes this.
  3. Brian777

    Brian777 Safety and Support Forum Pro SF Supporter

    Hi Con, you want advice.......in a nutshell, stop while you can. I don't know what you're using, but I went down that path with prescribed pain medication. Trust me, you don't want to go there, as lightning said, it'll make your depression worse. If you want to talk privately, you can pm me when I'm online or leave a message and I'll get back to you. I'm here everyday, several times throughout. Take care
    Brian
     
  4. con_101

    con_101 Member

    thanks for the advice guys. it's mainly cocaine I use, as well as codeine sometimes. Iv'e been speaking to my friends about it and hopefully I can kick it soon. I mainly do them when i'm out with friends and occasionally at home by myself which I know is bad.
     
    Brian777 likes this.
  5. con_101

    con_101 Member

    I have been using cocaine for about 3 months now and the codeine for a long time.
     
    Brian777 likes this.
  6. Brian777

    Brian777 Safety and Support Forum Pro SF Supporter

    Hey Con, you haven't been on cocaine too long and it sounds like the use was sporadic. Should be easy to kick. Codiene might be more difficult, but definetly doable. Pm me anytime if I can help you.
    Brian
     
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  7. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    I have been through codeine withdrawal so I know the score with it, it's hell but the habit must be kicked for your mental health and stability. I really hope you can get through this safely, do you have anyone who can help you get through this and talk to about it? Kicking habits is hard and even harder when you are using them to mask emotional problems and pain. I hear you, I do. PM me if you would like to talk.
     
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  8. lightning05

    lightning05 Well-Known Member

    It sounds like your problem hasn't gotten full blown yet, which is good. I agree with Petal and Brian that you need to walk away from those things ASAP before you get too deep into it. This may even require that you hang out with different people or remove yourself from an environment where drugs are present. I went to an outpatient rehab program while getting clean and it did wonders for me. Honestly, I relapsed twice but without that support I would not have been able to completely kick the habit. It's very hard to get clean on your own and like Petal said, the withdrawal is hell. But you can do it and if using drugs to numb yourself from emotional pain and suicidal thoughts you should do it. You can PM me also if you'd like to talk. Sobering up is tough but all of us have done it and so can you!
     
    Brian777 likes this.
  9. con_101

    con_101 Member

    It all really started when I lost my job, I was off sick for 6 months and eventually was let go. I've stopped the codeine and haven't touched it since last weekend. The cocaine for me is harder and maybe I might have to take myself away from certain people to really stop it, thanks for all the advice and I'll be sure to pm you guys if I'm really struggling.
     
    lightning05 and Brian777 like this.
  10. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Writer, Musician, Fun Lover, Magic Maker

    I am glad to hear that you stopped taking the codeine and will try to quit doing cocaine. Do whatever it takes to keep clean. I know it won't be easy, but we will be here to help you through everything.
     
  11. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    well done you, you are doing brilliantly :) please do pm me if you are finding you are struggling, again congrats on saying no and declining the codeine, your body will thank you for that :)
     
  12. torontopaul52

    torontopaul52 New Member

    where do you start if it is already full blown. weed. 24/7 now. if i don't do the weed, i don't move. non-responsive to anti-depressants, currently on citalopram/klonopin/naltrexone/lorazapam/etc/etc.......I don't know how to stop it and i'm scared...