Substance Abuse vs Psychologists pills

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by Craig, May 28, 2011.

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  1. Craig

    Craig Banned Member

    I realise that we all do it now and again. I really didnt intend to go back to this lifestyle. When I was younger I just stayed fucked up as much as I could so I wouldent have to deal with anything.
    Im getting back there. Sense things have happened I have just started turning to one thing after another. The first night I got drunk. THe second I smoked some weed. Last night I did bolth and aquired a lot of Xynax. I hadent felt that good in some time. I didnt think I would be able to feel that good.
    I just bought some E and will probably adding that to the mix. I figure it will make me think I am happy and afterwards I will go emotionaly numb for a bit. I dont know where this will end and I have no desire at all to stop. Its just so much better. I feel so much better.
    Everyone I know whent through a bad heroin phase. I never took it because I was enlisted and all that but they would tell me what it did for them. Im looking for an opertunity there but Im not sure about following through. I know I want the rest but this one I feel I should not just jump into when I have no desire to stay sober.
    I know that substances are not the answer but really whats the diffrence? If I go to another therapist they will just give me pills to help me deal. How is getting fuked up off their substances any better than my new concept of self medication? Because they took a bunch of bullshit classes? I just dont see any reason that option is better.
  2. Daphna

    Daphna Well-Known Member

    No matter which route you go; neither of them wil truly help you. The only thing that will is to face the music and deal with whatever issues you are having. If you are needing answers seek them, if you are running from reality--face it. Your really playing russian rullet with these methods when you can be overcoming them and getting better. The choice is yours.
  3. Daphna

    Daphna Well-Known Member

    I used to do the same thing; except I threw in trying to kill myself through every avenue. Not just drugs, but sex, driving; you name it. I was a walkiing destructive time bomb and it was only a matter of time before I succeeded. HalleluYah we are both alive, because everything we truly want is out there. We have or are going about it the wrong way to obtain it.
  4. Daphna

    Daphna Well-Known Member

    Craig- There is so much to learn in life, and you can do it! No one knows the answers immediately. It takes determination and effort to find them, but it is well worth it. I found them, and no I didn't do it through drugs, church, or someone who found the answers to help me. I simply prayed for the answers and was lead to the answer book. Then I was enlightened one on one with the only one I have found who is able. That is what helped me, and my life is completely turned around. The same can be said for you too. If what you are doing aint working; isnlt it worth a shot to try something different??
  5. lightbeam

    lightbeam Antiquities Friend

    Sometimes biting the bullet is what is needed. I used to be an addict. I would take pain medication to feel high. But when I ran out, I had to stop. My habit was costing me everything. I got clean for a certain amount of time, but the pills always found me.

    I had to physically remove myself for the situation, or I risked becoming a junkie. I quit my job, because my supplier was there, and opted for disability. I got disability, and a payee, because I cannot handle my own money. Odds are that it would end up going to pills again if it were any other way.

    Do I know what it feels like to get high...? Yes. Do I resent people that perscribe my meds to me...? Yes. Even though I have been clean for about 4 years, I still crave the pills.

    Both options are not necessarily better. It's either staying safe and taking your meds, or ending up being out getting high all the time, with money flowing out of your pocket like it's goin out of style.

    Which one will you choose?
  6. Craig

    Craig Banned Member

  7. HawthornePassage

    HawthornePassage Well-Known Member

    I'm a light drug user (and I mean it, I take low doses I've never been into heavy shit)....but nothing good in the long run can come of such heavy and constant drug use. If you need a little something to pick you up sometimes, fine, but I would recommend getting off the heavy shit entirely and light use only on an as needed basis. Light, measured, and careful substance use has saved my ass over the last few years and kept me from jumping off a tall building due to all this existential anxiety. drugs obviously arent all bad, no matter what some people say.

    obviously I'm being somewhat unrealistic talking to someone who has craved this stuff for awhile, but I've always had strong control over my substance use...been able to keep doses low and space em out to keep tolerance and addiction low even with the most addictive shit.....never slipped into the hard stuff and even got off it once I saw myself getting hooked (pod tea). i now just take a little bit of kratom a day. a lot of people doubted my ability to keep my drug use very limited. they were wrong. but i will admit that it was very, very hard.

    I'm in generally a hyper-aware and hyper-rational person who has been able to force myself away from slipping even under the worst circumstances, so I dont know how well this would work for you... but be honest with yourself and your abilities to resist. That's the best way to avoid going down the wrong path. Even if its not what you want to admit.

    It's all up to you. If you don't think you can handle going somewhere down the middle, decide whether you personally would prefer all or nothing (and consider all variables to the best of your ability), and commit to it. if you make a half hearted decision, you can be in and out of rehab about 10 times, but that's pretty pointless, isnt it? id probably get shit for advocating this approach, but in the long run its the only one that works. honestly though, given that you're taking all that stuff (I'd never hock a shitload of xanax or binge drink, though i binge drank once 5 years ago it was horrible), i have doubts that this would be a good idea, but I'm not one to judge.

    dont mean to sound callous, but this is just my experience.

    Last edited by a moderator: May 30, 2011
  8. Kaos General

    Kaos General Well-Known Member

    I see where your coming from but think about this for a minute.

    I was a heroin and crack addict for many years, but it wasnt just limited to that, i was also using methadone, speed, mdma, the list goes on. Thing is it might feel great now but what happens when you lose everything. Oh i know you think you wont but believe me you will. Im not talking about possessions, im talking about family, friends and all meaningful relationships. Some people who start using think that none of their family care and they have no friends. When youve been using for a couple of years you'll find that to be truly laighable because then you will truly know what its like to be totally alone. This isnt a scare tactic im using to try and make you stop what your doing, this will happen, its the reality of any addict. Of course i cant stop you from doing what you want and neither can anyone but just pause and listen to people in this threads who have been their and done it.

    Pills are used to deal with depression or whatever else. They arent their to get you high, thats the difference. Your the one who needs to change and work with your therapist to find out the underlying cause or whatever but its too hard so harldy anyone ever bothers. Drugs are a quick fix right? Why bother doing anything thats hard when you can take the easy option. You seem to be under the misapprehension that to become a psychisatrist or a therapist then all you need is a couple of classes? erm no, you need a degree for both which takes about 3-5 years. If you dont work with them then nothing will change.
  9. Craig

    Craig Banned Member

    I feel like you really hit the nail on the head. Im falling away from any kind of meaningful relationship I have right now. I am using this as a temporary solution and some part of me expects it to be something that fixes my issues instead of hideing the symptoms.
    Finding the cause of my issues is so hard. Between how many issues I have and my inability to actually see through my own bullshit justifications for everything I have no idea how to find the root of my problems. Talking through things here is helping me orginise my thoughts though. I feel that I am dedicated to helping myself through all this though.

    Your right. I dont have very much control over my drug use. I dont know if I will ever be able to admit to myself the extent of that lack of willpower.
    I know I cant handle moderation. I have failed too many times. The only thing I think I can controll is Alcohol. Any sort of drug I just end up abuseing and it end up taking over my life. It has happened to me so many times before and I know it has too much to do with the poor decisions I have made recently to even fool myself into thinking I have any controll over this. I needed to hear that. Thanks for being honest.
  10. gonei

    gonei Member

    My now ex-boyfriend went down this route and it ruined our lives and tore apart our relationship.
    It's hard to look at you man the same when you've seen him lying on the floor crying, drooling with white snot coming out of his nose in the middle of a ketamine induced high.

    I use the word 'high' because I don't know what else to call it but it was certainly a low point for both of us.
    All he does is regret starting talking drugs and I'm the same.

    No reall good can come from them and this is coming from a person who has taken/takes drugs so I'm not just preaching.

    It's a tempory fix at best and will leve you feeling like shit and in regret so don't do it mate!

  11. Aaron

    Aaron Well-Known Member

    Yes, face up to your issues, the reason for your current mental state is that your mind is asking you to sort things out so that you can move on and live life!
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