Such a bad daughter

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Autumn01, Jul 21, 2011.

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  1. Autumn01

    Autumn01 Well-Known Member

    I'm such a bad daughter. I basically told my mom this morning that I don't want to take care of her when she's old. She's already kinda old so it wouldn't be long. I won't be alive much longer anyway. I told her I won't be alive for the rest of remodeling that she wants to do next year- there's no way. I told her that she has family that can take care of her. She has friends too. She asked me what my plan is. I told her there's a million ways to do it and that I don't have a plan. I will never tell her what I'm thinking in terms of that- that would be totally stupid. I don't want to be stopped when I go to do it. I have many valid reasons to do it in the first place.
  2. Confused_Tomboy

    Confused_Tomboy Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry to hear there anything i can do to help?
  3. Autumn01

    Autumn01 Well-Known Member

    No, there isn't anything you can do but Thank you.
  4. windlepoons

    windlepoons Well-Known Member

    Tell us your reasons, if you would?

    I fear my parents needing care, I feel it will overwhelm me, that Ill be unable to cope. Its a common fear.
  5. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    autumn I hope you don't go through with any plan and find some help instead
    I know how much you hate life but is there something that will help/convince you to stay?

    How did your Mum react to you telling her this?

    want to talk about some of your reasons for wanting to go?
  6. june54

    june54 Member

    i feel so much of your pain autumn...i suffer the same as you and my mum did as well but i never understood it when i was young but i was the bad daughter as well. i think your mum doesn't really know how you feel and would be very distressed to know your feelings, please try and get help friend talk to someone like the samaritans xx
  7. Autumn01

    Autumn01 Well-Known Member

    I have so many reasons.
  8. Autumn01

    Autumn01 Well-Known Member

    Hi IV,
    The only thing that could possibly help me- is winning the lottery and that has to take place before April. She was saying things like I hope you'll still be around. I told her for what. I have so many reasons. I don't want to live through life anymore- I hate it.
    My teeth are no where near what they were. Hate them now pretty much. My gums
    keep receding more. Everything is to much of a struggle and effort. I don't care about anything anymore. I'm pretty sure I have something untreatable. Don't want to pass that along to anyone else and ruin their life too. I'll always be alone and my life will always be shit. Trust me my life isn't worth living.

    Only thing is I'm starting a job next week. I told them I'm so excited. I actually am but I'm more depressed than anything else. Everyday is such a struggle and battle for me.

    I hope they will understand ( my job) when I take my life.
  9. Autumn01

    Autumn01 Well-Known Member

    I think she does kind of know. But I keep telling her I don't want help.
  10. Degenerate Escapist

    Degenerate Escapist Well-Known Member

    In my opinion it's not that bad to say you don't want to take care of her when she gets old. It's quite a commitment. How old is she, and what's her condition?

    I had to take care of my father in hospice care for a few weeks, but I had my two sisters there with me as well.
  11. Autumn01

    Autumn01 Well-Known Member

    She'll be 70 this next year. Nothing now but I think people need help already while still in their 70's.
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