I went shopping with a friend of mine today. She was buying bday gifts for her boyfriend. I came home and started crying hysterically. She was being such a bitch the whole time and acting like she is sooo much better than me. This girl pretty much just gets used. She has to buy this guy a ton of gifts because it is obvious their relationship is hanging on by a thread. Sorry if I sound harsh, I'M JUST A LITTLE upset at the way things are going. Monday was the first time I cut since I was a teenager. I was just so upset and sick of myself and not sleeping. Everything is just going downhill. I am not sleeping good. I just don't know what I am going to do. Today made things worst after the shopping trip. This girl is such a bloody bit**. Afterward, I texted her to ask her something and she didn't even have the decency to respond. Why do people like her get to have somebody this summer while I have to be rotting away taking a summer course? She is actually quite hideous too. I mean I am far from beautiful, but I know I have to look better than her. It is not just her looks though she has a terrible personality. I have never met a person so rude, insensitive, and annoying. Not to mention boring. Once I told her I had a dentist appointment, she told me that she never has to go because her teeth are great. The funny thing is that she has an obviously rotten front tooth!!!!!! The first time I seen it I thought she ate Oreos without flossing!! To make a bad day worse, it is obvious that this guy had me on block on MSN. To think i was going to spend money to see this loooooser!!! Anyway, I could no longer see his status. I always was able to see it before no matter what, whether online or off. There was also always a background for when I chatted with him. So, I decided to text him. I just texted a simple HEY. Immediately he signed on and his status was there again. He probably just unblocked me really quick. I told him that I was sorry if I bothered him. He kept reassuring me that he didn't block me, but I honestly don't believe him. I didn't make a big issue out of it and I just let it go, but it is so funny because when he signed off this time, I could now see his status when he was offline. What a jerk. I am never on FB and I never even message him on Windows Live. I have no idea why he had to block me. I am so hurt because I still like him sooo much and I eventually want to meet him when I get out to Italy.. All the same, because of my homework, I no longer even get to spend hours on the internet like I did before and when I am, I chat with friends NOT HIM!!! So what is the problem?? Mom is also being a bitch today and I really feel like cutting. THE DAYS ARE ONLY DAYS NOW...The most excitement I get is relaxing in the sauna after I am done with my workout. Because of my reading, I have to miss workouts now too.