Such an idiot

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by mei, Feb 12, 2016.

  1. mei

    mei Active Member

    Damn, I'm such an idiot. Haha.

    I warned her, told her that if she were to get close to me I'd get attached. Said that I was afraid and wary of whether to stay away or not. I gave her a choice, to choose to be that friend to me or to back away and be free of the burden I were to place on her, though I didn't say it like that. I said that if she chose to get close then please don't do what he did, getting tired of me and leaving me battered up by my own stupid actions. I asked her to choose now than giving me leeway to go to her then just doing what happened before because what happened really screwed me up. I really thought she'd choose the first one. She apologised.

    How stupid is it to be feeling this way when I asked her to choose? It hurt to hear the words. This is bullshit, why am I like this? I didn't show whatever I was feeling the moment the words left her lips but it felt like someone punched me in the gut and tied an anchor to my heart. I just laughed a little bit and casually changed the topic. We talked a couple of more and when she left I felt my knees soften.

    I really am such an idiot.
  2. ThePhantomLady

    ThePhantomLady Safety and Support SF Supporter

    *big hugs* I am so sorry to hear that.

    If you want to talk you can always reach out to me.
    mei likes this.
  3. mei

    mei Active Member

    Thank you very much.
  4. Rockclimbinggirl

    Rockclimbinggirl SF climber Staff Member Safety & Support

    Hi @mei, you're not a idiot sweetie. *hugs* A true friend would stick with you no matter what.
    mei likes this.