Damn, I'm such an idiot. Haha. I warned her, told her that if she were to get close to me I'd get attached. Said that I was afraid and wary of whether to stay away or not. I gave her a choice, to choose to be that friend to me or to back away and be free of the burden I were to place on her, though I didn't say it like that. I said that if she chose to get close then please don't do what he did, getting tired of me and leaving me battered up by my own stupid actions. I asked her to choose now than giving me leeway to go to her then just doing what happened before because what happened really screwed me up. I really thought she'd choose the first one. She apologised. How stupid is it to be feeling this way when I asked her to choose? It hurt to hear the words. This is bullshit, why am I like this? I didn't show whatever I was feeling the moment the words left her lips but it felt like someone punched me in the gut and tied an anchor to my heart. I just laughed a little bit and casually changed the topic. We talked a couple of more and when she left I felt my knees soften. I really am such an idiot.