WHY can't i be put down like eight bells was last weekend at the kentucky derby? mycounselor "quit" on me after iwrongly got sent to the psch ward in feb. i was hysterical and she sai my arm WAS NOT getting better and forwhat reason??????? my hand isstillparalyzed and i had an "infestatin ofcankers that cameback on monday. hopefully tomorrow they'll be gone. then i loked upayoungerguywho hada crush on me and he'smarried. iwant him to be happybut i lost aguybecause it wastoo real for him. i should bedead;counselorranted godwuldn't let me killmyselfandi should have been dnr5 yearsago--damntjhemall to hell. african womansaid shesaw myexcming back andi'm like noandshewas persistent. even hadthose charcoal eyes ofvoodo priestesses. i just want to beeuthanized and be treatedwith the same kindesswe treat animals!!!!!