Sucide Out, Self Harm In

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by AfterFact, Jan 7, 2010.

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  1. AfterFact

    AfterFact Well-Known Member

    For the time being I am not trying to kill myself. However now I am hurting myself, and without going into details, it hurts. I suppose self harming is saving my life in way, but in a way self harming is even worse. It makes me feel alive, pents me up for a few moments, then it hurts and hurts, till my wounds run dry. Im hopeless, guitly, yet I contiune to do it. God damnit this method rule makes it very hard to talk.
  2. Bambi

    Bambi Well-Known Member

    Chance I am sad to see you sad still and wanting to hurt you have any plans to see a therapist? Get help?

    You can fight this I know you can but it is not going to be easy. We are here for you as you know and you are not alone. Is there anything I can do for you? Listen to you? Help you get a game plan? I want to help and be a part of the solution I really do and can tell you for sure harming yourself helps nothing and brings you not closer to the happiness you seek but further.

    Please continue to fight, seek support and help and let us know how things are going for you.

  3. cult logic

    cult logic Staff Alumni

    That is NOT a road you want to go down.

    Stop while it's manageable.
  4. AfterFact

    AfterFact Well-Known Member

    Right now its manageable, I can uh, stop for a day, but then the thoughts, or rather, lack of thoughts, and feelings, make me self harm again.
  5. Bambi

    Bambi Well-Known Member

    Not sure if you saw my question or not...are you pursuing an avenues of help? We are here for you but sounds to me like you need the assistance of a professional since you are not able to control your own actions.
    You have to fight you illness, it is not easy and we can not do it for you but we are here to support your efforts...efforts you have to make.

    Please let us know how we can help okay because a lot of people here care and so want to.
  6. AfterFact

    AfterFact Well-Known Member

    I am trying to find my voice and tell someone, for help, but at the moment I am not getting help, I tend to try to help myself, and when that fails I become helpless, like I am now
  7. confuzzle

    confuzzle Well-Known Member

    Start by tellin someone you love. While that is difficult, they acn provide invaluable assistance in starting down a path you DO want to go down to. HAving someone there for you is essential, and it can be one of us or someone else you know.
    Never be afraid to reach out.
  8. Confusticated

    Confusticated Well-Known Member

    Self harm will get a lot worse than just hurting you in that way. Soon enough you'll be seeing the whole world in a new light, a paranoid light, wondering why people are looking at you for more than a second, how they could possibly know what you've been doing, how they could know about your "secret", just from a look on the street. You'll need to calm down so you'll go home, if you can get there fast enough, and commit again.

    You'll start to spend more time trying to find a place to hide your SM than the time it takes to commit it. Oh and the infections, well it doesn't matter how clean you are. It always gets infected at one time or another, and that is the worst, because as soon as a bit of clothing even touches it, you want to cry in pain.

    Of course, after a while you want to stop, but you don't know how to live without it.

    You'll think to yourself that you'll do it one last time, but then you'll have 10 last times, then a 100, then a 1000. Everytime, you'll be more and more angry at yourself for having another "last time" which will only make you need it again. It's a drug, an addiction, and soon you'll have to get deeper, and deeper wherever it be, hm.. methods, okay well I'm sure you know at least a few, it doesn't matter what method you use though, you'll have to make it worse somehow.

    Then the scars become alot more visible, harder to hide. You can't where the clothes you want, but instead, the clothes that hide this whole other side of you, this side that nobody knows about.

    Before long, you'll go to far, it'll be a total accident, but you'll end up killing yourself, and if not, you'll end up wanting to again because this addiction has taken over your life.

    Scary, huh? Well, there is the second way of course.. You stop right now, and you get some help. If this hasn't helped you to find that voice you're looking for, for your help, then I apologise but I don't know what will.
  9. sd-239192

    sd-239192 Well-Known Member

    Friend... this road your walking is narrow. i have been cutting for... lets just say some time... it only gets harder from here, hold your ground and don't give in to the act. Even coming from a masochist the pain can be worse then you can handle if you hit the nerve... trust me on that one its like nothing you can compare. Ive become paranoid from hiding and have spent years removing the scars not easily covered, only recently have i been able to show the spot without fear of being noticed... don't end up like me friend, you still may have a chance.
  10. grinded serenity

    grinded serenity Well-Known Member


    Sorry, but he's absolutely right. It's depressing as hell, but most of us here have already been down that road. Trust me. The quote is true. Your probly thinking "not me, I can control this." Maybe you can, but not for long. Eventually, it's will get worse. You will hit yourself harder, you will burn yourself with something hotter, you will cut yourself deeper, what have you. Then at that point, your going to be LUCKY that somebody reports you to somebody who can help. I got lucky, I was admitted to a Clinic (mental hospital) for a week for S.I.P. (Self Injury Prevention) and then after that I got therapy. Then your going to have this THING on your back the rest of your life, when you wake up you will see the scars and regret ever doing it. You will have a relapse from time to time, you will cry because you feel like you let everybody, including yourself, down.

    Or you can just go and talk to somebody who can help you. Treatment is possible. Trust me on that. I'm not one to lie, especially about something like this. Get out while you still can.


  11. iceblink

    iceblink Member

    I hope nobody gets mad at me for saying this. But it's probably better to work on not feeling horrible than to focus on not hurting yourself. If it helps you to not kill yourself don't hate yourself for it, everyone has bad habits. That will probably make you feel a lot better on its own, and if you don't feel better you might not stop.
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