is this normal? more and more i find myself obsessing about death whether i am asleep or awake. today i have been obsessed with it, cut, and still want to do more as not enough blood flow. i am not a lifelong cutter, so why in the last 12 months have i become obsessed with it. i just feel i have too many battles to fight its easier to give up, but then i read the forums and feel selfish, i dont know, i just like to understand why i feel the way i do rather than stop it.