So for the past few weeks I have noticed a slight blank in my memory. Up until recently, whenever I held my Dakimakuras I could close my eyes and feel those feelings and sensations that you can feel when you are embracing another human being. However, last night it struck me hard that I could not remember how to feel those things. I latched onto my Dakimakura and I felt like I was snuggling a big stuffed animal. It was so weird how I just drew a blank like that. I mean normally, I feel... Well you know those feelings... The ones that you feel whenever you are embracing someone. Now, I just feel a pillow that makes me feel a bit more comfortable in bed. Then I draw another blank, on how I should feel about this lack of feeling or memories. I mean, I feel like I should feel sad or upset, but I just feel blah... You know? Just like there is no more feelings when I snuggle up to my Dakimakuras, there is no feeling on how I should feel. It just is the way that things are and I cannot do anything. I don't know, my lack of affection is one of my biggest causes of depression, intimate and otherwise. I would use my Dakimakuras to simulate that feeling, but now I cannot remember those feelings. Hmm... I don't know I am just confused. Thanks for any thoughts.