Suddenly, There is a Blank

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by Forgotten_Man, Mar 3, 2014.

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  1. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    So for the past few weeks I have noticed a slight blank in my memory. Up until recently, whenever I held my Dakimakuras I could close my eyes and feel those feelings and sensations that you can feel when you are embracing another human being. However, last night it struck me hard that I could not remember how to feel those things. I latched onto my Dakimakura and I felt like I was snuggling a big stuffed animal. It was so weird how I just drew a blank like that. I mean normally, I feel... Well you know those feelings... The ones that you feel whenever you are embracing someone. Now, I just feel a pillow that makes me feel a bit more comfortable in bed.

    Then I draw another blank, on how I should feel about this lack of feeling or memories. I mean, I feel like I should feel sad or upset, but I just feel blah... You know? Just like there is no more feelings when I snuggle up to my Dakimakuras, there is no feeling on how I should feel. It just is the way that things are and I cannot do anything.

    I don't know, my lack of affection is one of my biggest causes of depression, intimate and otherwise. I would use my Dakimakuras to simulate that feeling, but now I cannot remember those feelings. Hmm... I don't know I am just confused.

    Thanks for any thoughts.
  2. Kabukicho

    Kabukicho Member

    Are you in Japan? Judging from your avatar and the Dakimakura, I was just wondering. I lived there for a few years. Favorite country in the world.

    I understand your feelings. They are normal in this dark world. Everything blunts, everything fades, everything blurs and falls away. This might be a weird analogy, but it makes sense to me: We are broken by this world and when our spirits try to heal, we're left with scar tissue. And that scar tissue has much less emotional sensitivity than our original spirit.

    Let the feeling go. If it comes back, it comes back. If it doesn't, it's gone forever (as so many good things in this world are wont to do), and there's nothing you can do about it.

  3. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    Nope I am not from Japan, I am just a fan of the stuff like that.

    No big loss I guess, at least now I have one less thing to miss.
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