suffering from Depersonalization disorder

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by sidjor, Nov 22, 2008.

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  1. sidjor

    sidjor Active Member

    All,
    I suffer from derpersonalization disorder. Wanted to know if anyone else on this forum suffers from the same.

    I've in the recent past become very suicidal <mod edit: dazzle11215>
    I'm 41 and have suffered from this for 28 yrs. I can see no hope of any cure.

    I live in Michigan..

    sid
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 22, 2008
  2. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    hi sid, and welcome. i hope you will keep posting. when you are new it can take a little while to get some responses but you will find a supportive community here. i edited your post as i don't want you looking for a suicide partner here, we are a pro-life forum and want to help you with these feelings,
    catherine
     
  3. TheWr0ngChild

    TheWr0ngChild Well-Known Member

    Hi there. Your not going to find a suicide partner here but you will find a lot of people in simlar curcumstances who will be very willing to offer you help and support.

    Try us.
     
  4. ImSoStupid

    ImSoStupid Member

    Hi, Sidjor, i suffer from depersonalization as well, I've had it for 4 months now and I've been suicidal for a while now. I got it from the use of extacy, i think. I feel like i am brain damaged or something. I cant think and and speak words very well anymore, because i just feel so strange, like i am disconnected from my mind. I am disconnected from everything, and no one understands. I have been to doctors, therapists, psychiatrists, ect... and none of them are helping. I dont know how you have made it 28 years through this disease because i dont think i can make it much longer feeling this way. What are some of the symptoms you get and were you diagnosed?
     
  5. Emptysoul

    Emptysoul Well-Known Member

    There is allways help out there and of course on here. People will help all they can and in their own way and time.
    So we can try and help you as much as we can, could you tell us what Depersonalization disorder actually is as I personally have never heard of it and I am sure there are others who haven't heard of it too.
    Just talking about it and Discribing the disorder may help you loads. Say what the symptoms are and what it does to you. How does does it make you feel and how have you managed to cope so far in your life.
     
  6. sidjor

    sidjor Active Member

    I know why u chose the name ImSoStupid i think cuz i also feel that i can harldy think or feel.....Even i don't know how i have managed 28 yrs. with this. It has taken everything away from me and i don't want to go on like this anymore.

    I'm unable to feel myself and unable to experience the world around me. The latter is actually called derealization.

    sid
     
  7. sidjor

    sidjor Active Member

    I feel very similar to how u feel....

    sid
     
  8. sidjor

    sidjor Active Member

    I've been on a depersonalization forum for a few years now so i don't think talking is going to help much..

    sid
     
  9. Dave_N

    Dave_N Guest

    Hi sidjor. Is depersonalization when you don't feel like yourself anymore? Sorry to hear that you've been feeling suicidal for the past 28 years. It must be awful living like that. But please don't give up. :hug:
     
  10. sidjor

    sidjor Active Member

    Depersonalization is when u can't feel yourself or the reality of the world...its all a dream...the mind is all the time trying to grasp who i am..and never finds an answer.

    sid
     
  11. LostSpirit

    LostSpirit Well-Known Member

    thats how i feel like all the time
     
  12. sidjor

    sidjor Active Member

    Lostspirit,
    If that's how u feel, u too may be suffering from this. If u're in the UK u may be in luck. London's King's college's psychiatry dept. is one of the very few places that is investigating this illness. U could try and get a recomendation to see them.

    sid
     
  13. LostSpirit

    LostSpirit Well-Known Member

    really i didnt even no about that.. thank you x
     
  14. ImSoStupid

    ImSoStupid Member

    I constantly feel as if i am in a dream as well. Its almost as if i don't even exist, im just an obscure consciousness traveling in a robotic body. I feel so uncomfortable in my own skin, my brain wont let me slip back into normal perception mode. I cant deal with this to much longer, i think about suicide every day, and i really dont want to kill myself. But i really dont want to live like this. There is no exact cure or remedy for this illness. No one understands me, everyone thinks they have it bad with depression, but this its a lot worse than depression, because its something you cannot get out of.
     
  15. LostSpirit

    LostSpirit Well-Known Member

    ^^

    most of the time i feel im watching the world go by, like im on the outside looking in, esepcially with certain things i feel very dis connected, i feel odd, and so different to everyone else and its like they no... they stare at me as if they no what im thinking, if you dont go thru it yourself, then no one can really understand this...
    i call it static
    A Veil of grayness and noise that i couldn’t see or hear past. i i cant hear a kind word said to me. “I feel as though I’ve given away my soul, I don’t have it any more, I’m dead inside.”
     
  16. sidjor

    sidjor Active Member

    both of u'll have described it quite accurately...

    There's an msn forum on depersonalization that i'm a member of. Some of them have received help with klonopin and certain anti-psychotics. I'm myself on Resperdal and Lamictal.

    sid
     
  17. Ellex

    Ellex Member

    I suffer from this too. Have done since I was about 23. I'm now 39. I get it most often when I am around other people, when I have to talk to them. I am unable to concentrate on what people say to me because I'm not 'there'
    The only time it doesn't happen is when I'm at home alone. I get it when I have to appear in public....the world around me is just too much to take in.
    It used to scare me when it happened as I thought one day I might not 'snap out of it' (for want of a better expression)
    It's a very scary feeling. If I had this all the time I wouldn't get out of bed in the morning any longer. I don't know if that is what it's like for you
     
  18. ImSoStupid

    ImSoStupid Member

    Ellex, i feel the exact same way you do. I am also unable to concentrate on what people are saying to me because i also feel as if i am not 'there'. I also have trouble thinking and speaking words, like i just cant get out complete sentences. I just feel so stupid and dumb and no one understands. I have lost my personality and i am a completley different person. I dont even feel like a person.I cant enjoy the simple things in life anymore, i cant enjoy a beautiful day. Its sucks so badly, and it really frightens me to know that you guys have had this for so long, because iam not going to live my life like this, i just cant.
     
  19. sidjor

    sidjor Active Member

    I also feel exactly the way u guys feel...its terrible and my head just doesn't work anymore..can't really understand simple things..

    sid
     
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