Hi there. This is my first post here, so I hope I've got it right! I may go off on a bit of a rant here, so bare with me... I'm 21 years old, and throughout my childhood, I've always been shy, and that's all I thought it was, shyness. But in recent years, I've just never been able to 'break out of my shell' and get to know people. I find it extremely difficult to talk to people who I don't know, particularly if that person is an attractive girl. You can probably guess where I'm going with this, but it just seems to be that I can't get to know anybody unless they actually reach out to me. For example, my last relationship (lasted just over a year, finished last February (ironically on valentines day)) was actually started because she knew a friend who told me that she liked me, and even then, she was the one who initially suggested going out on a date. I really couldn't tell you what it is, I just seem completely incapable of forging relationships for myself. A friend at work tried to set me up with a girl, but I just couldn't think of anything to say or do, which has largely been the bane of my life so far. I've lost all faith in my self-esteem and social skills! I can come out and type about my problems and failings quite openly on the message board, but I couldn't consider telling even my closest friends or family that these feelings have really devastated me. I've been depressed before and was put on anti-depressants, which helped for a while, but as time has gone by, these feelings have come back, and I have considered the possibility of suicide. It's unlikely that I'll do it, but sometimes I can go for hours on end thinking about my own death, which is quite depressing in itself! I feel as though I'd get a lot of tension lifted off of my shoulders if I could just learn to be a little more confident and less worried about making a fool out of myself in front of strangers. I started writing this as I was about to go out for the night (with a chance of meeting new people), only to have my parents say that they were going out, and that they wanted me to stay at home and look after my younger brother. I could have told them where to shove it, but with my lack of confidence, I really don't want to start open warfare with my parents. Thanks for reading. I can't really think of much else to write without going on all night, but this is the main thing that's getting me down at the minute. All I can see coming out of my life at the minute is being single and with only a handful of friends until the day I die. Hopefully somebody can give me some advice on getting me out of this. I feel as though I can't meet new people because I have no confidence but whenever I mess up (like my friend with the girl) then that just takes another whack at my confidence. Thanks for reading, sorry if I started to ramble at any point!