All I know is suffering. Its all I feel all the time. Misery and torment. Life is cruel. Can't escape it. Trauma after trauma. When you think things cant get any worse it does. Spend your whole life chasing that light at the end of a tunnel. Chasing hope. But it never comes. I am what I am. I have no power or ability to change what is. The nightmare lives on. It is infinite. Nothing I can do about it. The only sure promise I have is that tomorrow I will suffer. And the day after that, and in the future. Life cannot allow me anything but this fate. I will die this way and thats fine. The only time I feel comfort is when I think about dying. This is all I am. Im not worth anything to anyone or myself. Nor to any God. This is all I was meant for. I hurt all the time. Mentally, emotionally, physically. It's hell. I never thought I would say this but I give up. I let go of the dellusions of hope. Let the light dim to nothing so that the darkness can consume me and kill me quicker. I just don't have anything left. Its all gone. There is no depth to how cruel life can be. There is no bottom to misery, there is no limit to pain. The fear, the anguish and despair i breathe it in like air. It is as real to me as the water I drink it is apart of me like flesh. Go to sleep, wake up, time to fail again. There is no peace. Just suffering.