suffering

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by morning rush, Jul 20, 2013.

  1. morning rush

    morning rush Well-Known Member

    I stopped talking to my dad for a few years because, well I was mad and they never once called. So I've recently contacted them. Today I called, my step mom answered, and she told me my dad is asleep so okay, and then she asked for my phone number and then said I'll tell him you called bye....no additional talking...so I know that she is mad about something...but dammit I didn't do anything wrong...they are the ones who did and I feel like I have to crawl back to them and be forgiven for stuff I NEVER did....

    It drives me mad...they told other members of my family that I didn't want to talk to them...and I said well they didn't call me either...it goes two ways...but my dad told me a long time ago it's not the parents who call the children but the children who call the parents...which is bullshit!!!!! My mother calls me all the time and so do i....

    idk I'm just again, hurt...and I hate having this need to talk to my dad to see how he is...everytime I do I suffer...
     
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hugs to you hun dam him hun A father should always want to call his child I am sorry he is so toxic towards you Just know hun it is him not you ok that needs to grow up he truly does.
     
  3. morning rush

    morning rush Well-Known Member

    I am a stupid person...I hate myself...I hate that I care. I hate that love. I hate, hate hate hate!!!!!!!
     
  4. flowers

    flowers Senior Member

    I hate that you are being hurt. But I do not hate that you are capable of love. Your heart is good. But he and his wife hurt that heart. A father should always call his daughter. That should never ever be a one way arrangement. And then when you do call..... its anger. Thats not exactly incentive to call often.

    How very painful for you to be wounded like that. It is natural, I think, for someone to need love from her father. Although I am sorry that need causes you to get hurt. I want to tell you that this is not about you being bad or wrong. This is not about anything you have done wrong. Not at all. It is about a problem he has. Maybe something that one of his parents did to him. That he did not change within himself. Changing how we treat our children is a choice. I am sorry he was, and is not able to treat you better. Very sorry. It is not your fault. Although I do understand self blame and all that goes along with it. I also understand the longing for a parent to not be mean. :hug: