Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by bipolarjoe, Jul 25, 2011.

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  1. bipolarjoe

    bipolarjoe Active Member

    Every time I think things are getting better, they turn around and get worse. As I sit here I can't handle the pain anymore. My physical pain and my emotional pain are on par with each other. They are both at a 10. I am so angry that I am alive. I hate every day. Even my hands hurt as I type. My head is throbbing. I took my meds today and they have done almost nothing. The antidepressants are not working; my antianxiety medicine is doing something. It is making me tired, dulling the world. Maybe that is what it is meant to do.

    I am starting to think that all the meds over the years have wrecked my body. I looked at a few websites that are "anti-medication" and am now thinking that much of the prescribed meds were a way to make the drug companies rich and did little or nothing to make my life better.

    My personal life is mess. I hate to be around people. I look at them and see that they have so much of what I don't: happiness, health, family, friends, and money to name a few. On the other hand, the people that I am forced to be around, my coworkers and most of my customers, seem to be unhappy as well. They are bitter and for the most part mean to each other.

    I hate the culture that the US has become. It is a pill pushing nation with little concern for those in need. So many people lack morals, respect, or simple kindness to each other. Ours is a society based on money and greed. So many seem to lie or try to defraud you in some way. I have had a family member steal my identity and ruin my life. I cannot afford the basics and I work 40 hours a week. I don't have healthcare.

    I look at the world and see such doom. I watch people blowing people and things up. Like what happened in Norway recently. I would have loved to have been one that died in that tragedy. I would be free of the emotional and physical pain I experience daily. I would no longer see the demise of the culture of the US. I would no longer have to listen to my government lie to me and watch the politicians and their friend’s line their pockets at the expense of the American taxpayer.

    I have to stop here; this post is getting too long and probably boring to most. I wish I could leave where I am now, the library, walk out onto the street and get struck down by a car. That kind of luck has never been mine.
  2. Long2beFree

    Long2beFree Member

    Dear bipolarjoe

    I suffer from 2 genetic muscle deseases so i can relate to the emotional and fysical pain.

    You say the antidepressants dont work but they r supposed to make you feel tired so i guess they be working to dont stop taking them.

    But the truth is th pills wont cure the feelings just suppres them abit untill counseling or talking to someone gets youre feelings in order and get u youre taste for life back.

    I know its hard and i wont claim to be able to do it myself but they say you can never look at someone else and wish you had what they had cos it would make things only worse... i know easy speaking but still no lies.

    Healthcare is the states in shamefull the whole world knows about it, and tho im glad the states are like the referees of the world like a good samaritan they should put some money in healthcare instead of warfare, a,d let the UN assist em more.

    But dont say youre unlucky cos u havent been run over by a car or something like that, get through it and people will say hes stronger then the average person and lucky to be able to enjoy life, get hit by a car and people will remember u as an unlucky person.

    Now this is only my personal oppinion and expercience but if i find something that helps me cope with fysical pain i might be able to work on the rest... im looking hard to find something i hope u will to

    keep strong :)
  3. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Hey Joe,
    I know what you mean about the meds.. I am so sick of takeing them..I have one of those weekly pill containers but it takes time to fill everyweek because I am on so many meds and vitamins..I know I can't quit takeing them because I would be dead within a week..So All I can tell you is to keep takeing the meds and try to live day to day..Some will be good and others will suck big time..I am here if you need someone to talk to..Take Care!!
  4. bipolarjoe

    bipolarjoe Active Member

    Thanks for thinking of me and I so thank you for the reply. Yes, we must live day to day. I am thankful that today is one that is not filled with too much pain and my mood is somewhat up. U are a great guy. Thanks for your support!

  5. NiceGuYKC

    NiceGuYKC Well-Known Member

    Good to see your feeling better.
  6. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    Just want you to know that I read your post, that you're being heard and someone cares. It wasn't too long, and it wasn't boring at all. You can post as much as you need to. :hug:
  7. D-503

    D-503 Member

    I don't really want to offer an opinion on the meds: I would suggest talking to someone who is medically qualified and anti-meds and another person who medically qualified and pro-meds and weighing the two up.

    But as for what you say about the government: it's not the US, it's every government in the world, and not just now, but throughout history. Governance is full of those who seek power, and do what they can to maintain that power. They will not give you your money back, they will always take you for every cent. Sounds bad right? Truth is, you just have to ignore it. I don't mean you can't be angry about it, protest and so forth, hell, you can start a revolution if you want, but don't get depressed about it.

    Government is essentially a smokescreen. Those in charge can't actually do anything to affect the world. Take the current recession, everyone blames Obama or Bush or Gordon Brown or whoever, but they couldn't stop it. Anyone in their position would have done the same things. The truth is, the world would probably be pretty similar if we had no government at all. Human nature, geopolitics, biological laws, these are the things which control the course of history. The government are just people who say 'yes' to the decision which was obvious at the time (but is nearly always foolish in hindsight). They could say 'no', but it wouldn't change anything.

    Reading that back it sounds a little depressing. But what I'm trying to get at, is that the government isn't actually very important at all. Yes, the news says it is, and people who think they're very clever say it is, but actually it's pretty much irrelevant. The things that matter are your friends, your family, what you do to enjoy yourself, good food, and all those little things that make you happy on a daily basis. If you have those, that's all you need. Screw the 'big picture', it really is the little things that are important.
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