First I'm sorry for English to be very wrong, I am a foreigner ... Forgive me Have you ever felt the scum of the earth ? I feel like that. I do not feel beautiful , I feel uninteresting. I just feel an urge to die. All I wanted was to be irreplaceable , but apparently anything can replace me. I do not dress well , I do not have beautiful body , my hair is horrible and I am neither good nor what I chose to do the same . I feel useless ... I can no longer dream of the future , I can only fear . Afraid of everything worse. I can not see anything good in me . I am three years in that situation , to three years trying to survive. I think of suicide , but even that can do .