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Suggestions for workplace bullying...

Discussion in 'Bullying and Violence' started by SaraRose, Nov 4, 2011.

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  1. SaraRose

    SaraRose Well-Known Member

    I'm calling it bullying because really this is no different then children ganging up on one child and just mercilessly teasing them and talking crap about them behind their back.

    At work there are 3 people who spread rumors about me. I know about these rumors. I've heard people tell me what they are doing. It's baseless stuff about me, stuff that could make my reputation as a nurse meaningless because no one trusts me. Because of this, now when I say something I see the hesiatation in other people's eyes. 'Should we trust her? She has done all these things wrong (none of which is true, or at least wasn't my fault, how can I be blamed for an order that was given on my day off, or when it wasn't my shift?).'

    But now I've been told those that I trust are supposedly spreading rumors about me. I don't know who to trust anymore. Do I trust these new whispers that my BOSS is telling me that the people I trust with my life really are talking crap about me? Even if it's wrong that means my BOSS is twisting stuff.

    Mainly what I'm asking here is. How do I cope? I've just gotten to the point where I do my job and that's all. I smile and robotically go through the motions around my co-workers. I've closed off talking about my personal life with them. I can't trust any of them with it, if I say something that will get spread...

    I can't get a new job, I've looked. The market is tough right now for nurses. Moving to a new floor won't do any good. Cuz the rumors are all over the place. I can't go to my boss because she may be spreading rumors too. I just don't know! I mean I don't have concrete proof of this, but I do have 2 people that I know I can trust and they tell me everything they hear. And that's how I know it's still going on. It turns my stomach to smile at these bullies everyday and talk to them.

    I just don't know how to cope with all of these rumors that won't stop! Is this what it's really like in the job field? Because if so I can try for disability and stay at home. I can't stand this anymore!
  2. BeautifullyChaotic

    BeautifullyChaotic Well-Known Member

    This is actually normal in the workplace. You would think that because they are adults they would stop acting like high school kids but it doesn't really stop with some, most in my opinion.
    Leaving one job for another is no better, as eventually, if you aren't willing to join in on the Bullshittary you will be a target.
    If it is causing you emotional distress, you can file a complaint with HR, but that will get you treated even worse in the long run, as everyone involved will berate you and make your life a living hell.
    All you can really do is ignore it and hold your head high, knowing you are above them because you are a mature adult who doesn't engage in gossip and trash talk.

    It happened to me too, and I did nothing to cause it, I was just newer than the rest of them, which made me the target. My managers and the store owner and his wife were just as bad as my co-workers and they drove me to the point of quitting my job in a blow out, the abuse had stopped being whispers and just flat out disrespect to my face and I went off on everyone in the store and took off my apron, and clocked out. On my way out the door my manager asked if he should consider this my 2 weeks notice, I said "Yeah, it's just 2 weeks late". I had never done anything to any of them, had actually loaned several of them money, given them rides when they needed it and covered more hours per week for others than I was even scheduled for.
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 4, 2011
  3. SaraRose

    SaraRose Well-Known Member

    That's what I try to do now, but sadly each day it gets harder. Though it does make it a lil easier knowing I'm not the only one. I figured that as long as I have my cell phone and friends I can text I at least can keep going.
  4. BeautifullyChaotic

    BeautifullyChaotic Well-Known Member

    If it has gotten to the point that it is causing you great emotional distress and preventing you from being able to do your job you may have a case for workplace harassment, but you would need evidence and witnesses.
    On the other hand, if you are suffering from depression and other mental disorder you may qualify for SSI D. I know it's a crappy option that we all want to avoid due to the social stigma, but it is one you may want to check into. Sometimes people have to apply 3 or more times and get a lawyer to help them, but there are lawyers that take SSI D cases for free.
  5. SaraRose

    SaraRose Well-Known Member

    Hmm yeah those are options. I think the harassment is out mainly because I've had too many people change stories when I try to get them to stand up for me. They say they will be there up until someone comes in to talk, then they keep their mouths shut. So, yeah I keep that one out of my mind.

    I still have to be "formally diagnosed" as still being depressed, though really...yeah...

    But thank you so much for your comments! :hug:
  6. therapy_fan

    therapy_fan Well-Known Member

    People are strange. tc :hugtackles:
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