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Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by blindrage, Mar 28, 2008.

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  1. blindrage

    blindrage Member

    So i get into fits of of blind rage sometimes, right? Ever since about 14 (19 now) but I'm starting to notice it's getting worse and worse, because over the last few months i've been getting SO FUCKING ANGRY and over what? stuff like misplacing my keys when i have to do something important will set me off, i will smash holes in the wall/door and mess my fist up so bad. after all of my raging and smashing things that i need, i feel so STUPID (BUT I AM! A STUPID PERSON WOULDNT LET IT GET THIS BAD) and sick and tired, just worn out mind body and soul that i think to myself "what pain is worse? this emotional pain which is pretty much unbearable and that i cant channel, or a few moments of sharp pain in my gut followed by sleep?" the choice seems so obvious. but i am pretty much against suicide, it is <Mod Edit: inappropriate>, i know that, but i now understand what it's like, who gives a shit if it's the easy way out? it's out. rest. end. awesome.

    but i am here because suicide is OUT OF THE QUESTION. my fear is that i'll just do it when im in a rage. i have been to counselling. THEY DO NOT KNOW ANYTHING, AT ALL. this is the truth.

    so i'm not sure why i'm about to post this, maybe someone knows how to get around this without pills? thanks
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 28, 2008
  2. x.R.x

    x.R.x Well-Known Member

    well i have no idea how to stop it but i can relate to it...i get angry (proper angry though, not just a bit pissed off) over the slightest thing! i dropped my fork on the floor earlier, and OMG that set me off! :furious: i just can't keep myself calm at all, if i don't hit myself or break something then i know i'll end up hitting the people around me and it gets a hell of a lot worse when people tell me to calm down as well...

    but if you do ever manage to figure out a way, then let me know :mellow:
  3. ggg456

    ggg456 Guest

    Hi :biggrin:

    I know the feeling of anger well. I just suggest letting things out slowly and not waiting until little mundane things set you off. I know when I'm not looking after my own emotional needs/or very depressed I start blowing up at stupid small things like you. I usually end up in bed crying and wishing the whole world would just fuck off and my whole day goes to waste over something small like not finding keys or objects or something stupid like that... My gf is used to it though and finds it funny but I know how bad, horrible and suffocating it feels when you feel like that. Perhaps look at how you're feeling generally, look at all your emotional needs, let out your anger/whatever you're feeling out slowly and through the day, there are many ways of doing that...lots of things destress me. I like to smash things up myself, or dance madly or exercise or jumping up and down, just to let it all go....or anything..drawing, music, anything...

    I hope this hasn't made you feel too angry but I do hear what you're going through.
    Last edited: Mar 28, 2008
  4. Surviving

    Surviving Well-Known Member

    hey blind...i think we've walked a mile in the same shoes. I contemplated dying once, actually left it up to a game of 'fate', but alas here i am. for the longest time i would snap at the littlest of things, as you mentioned. I was bitter about my life, hated it most of the time, felt i was a schmuck, etc. I lost a lot of friends because of my inability to control my temper, my emotions, and my words...

    I never did go to any type of therapy, but I started reading about it...a lot. No yoga or anything like that either, but I made a lot of alone time for myself just so I could chill. Some of my worst times were when I was working all the time, then going out and doing whatever. I was wore out as you mentioned and I think that is why I couldn't cope with the easiest of shit. I lived in a house where the doors would often stick; I ripped 4 out of 5 doors off the hinges because I got so pissed they wouldn't open or close right. Now a days I would take the time to fix them first :smile:

    I'm not saying it will work for you, but maybe try some alone time? I spent a lot of that time fishing by myself, trying to appreciate all the small things that were going right. Eventually I got myself back on track...

    If you ever want to chat drop me a PM, an e-mail, or I am on yahoo messenger from time to time (Surviving73).
  5. blindrage

    blindrage Member

    actually, it did get me angry that your girl laughs at you. was gonna post a specific way to smash her face in for you but decided against it when i read that you hope it doesn't make me angry, hahahh
  6. ggg456

    ggg456 Guest

    Nah, I don't like hurting people...it doesn't do anything for me.
  7. blindrage

    blindrage Member

    yes, i too have lost many close friends. i always have alone time, i never sociolize, i WANT to be alone.

    thanks for the posts guys. i know i'm not alone in the sense that other people are going through what i am, which is comforting. if that makes sense, not sure it does. the wording i mean, don't think i got the sentance gramatically correct.
  8. ggg456

    ggg456 Guest

    it's ok. i understand.
  9. blindrage

    blindrage Member

    don't get me wrong, i aint like that at all. i like writing harsh things because it makes me feel fucking good. sad but true
  10. Surviving

    Surviving Well-Known Member

    Thinking and acting on it are totally different. If writing it keeps you from doing it then all the power to you...

    This aint grammar schoolz...and I think we understood exactly what you meant :smile:

    Take care.
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