Hi, I am a 23 year old male, and I'm not exactly sure why I am here on this thread or even making this post. I think I am suicidal, but not even sure the degree of seriousness in my mental health. My own mind tends to demean the state of my mental health, but when I look at it objectively, it seems serious at the same time. In the past year or so, many painful events occurred in my life that has pretty much took everything out of me. But the worst part of it is that they did not occur at once, but rather one by one. Right when I feel like I am healing and in a healthier place from one event, another painful event happened. This has been an ongoing cycle for close to 2 years, and it really discourages me to live life any longer. Sometimes, I really just lose all reason and rationale, and go crazy. Recently, for the first time, this inward craziness comes out as an outward expression to those around me, and I think I might be at a state where I cannot contain the things within me anymore. But to briefly elaborate, some of these experiences were an ex-girlfriend of 5 years getting with another man in a matter of months, loss of transportation due to a huge accident, loss of my closest friend, then living with my closest friend's mother at her place in my deceased friend's room (she is a single mom), and the girl coming back into my life after breaking up with her now-ex boyfriend to only leave me again after less than a year. These events might sound trivial to some, but in my lack of maturity and tolerance for pain, I am slowly losing all will to live. In terms of my experience with suicide, the first time my thoughts came into action was when I briefly strangled myself <mod edit - method>, and quickly stopped after realizing what I was doing to myself. This was around a year ago. The second time was more serious, when I <mod edit - method>. This was around half a year ago now. Then recently, and I mean yesterday, I <mod edit - methods>. With that said, it is in the afternoon now, and I am unsure of what to do, where to go, or anything at this point. I sometimes get confused myself if I am in a bad place because it just doesn't even sound all that bad, but when I try to hear the words I am writing objectively, it can sound bad. Any feedback in the state of my mental health would be appreciated, and just comment for those who relate or are gracious to provide support would be appreciated too. Thank you for reading all this.
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