Even when my life seemed 'perfect', people looking at me thinking that i should be the happiest girl in the world, I just felt so depressed. I've been miserable and felt suicidal before when I have n reason to. I'm back feeling like this again and the one person who was always there for me before, my (now ex) boyfriend is gone. I was miserable and I made him miserable and I don't know how to deal with the intense misery I'm feeling; I pushed him away. I deserve to be alone. I feel so alone and that everyone will judge me now that have to take medicine to help me sleep and haven't been eating...that i am just an attention seeker. I don't feel part of anything and I'm not seeing the point of anything. I don't get up in the morning. I don't want to live anymore. My life really means nothing. I never was 'brave' enough to do it before but i think I can this time. I don't know why I'm posting, maybe it will make it the tiniest bit easier if i know that there are people out there who feel/have felt like I am. Or understand. Because right now, dying seems like a pretty good solution to the depression and the thoughts I have to battle through everyday.