suicidal because i'm getting bored of life

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by pingas112, Sep 28, 2012.

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  1. pingas112

    pingas112 Member

    I was a little apprehensive in making this thread so you'll have to forgive me if i missed out on a couple details.

    I've been a little suicidal for several years and only told 1 person i know about it, he thinks i was just depressed, he might be right. but over the years I've dealt with it for so long that i don't actually get depressed anymore when i think about it which is why i think i actually am suicidal. I'm almost 23, never worked before and still live with my parents, my one friend made me a little less of a miserable person he has been telling me that i should get a job all all this time, sometimes when he does i put a little work into trying to find a job but then i just stop and don't get back to it for a long while, i think I'm lacking motivation because all i do with my life is stay on the computer and on some occasions go to see my friend so i don't think thats enough for me to want to work for, when i think about some of the other stuff in life nothing else comes to mind that i would enjoy doing, I've tried some different stuff but in the end i never really enjoyed any of it. As i get older with even more years of not working i feel a pressure from knowing that the more time i spend unemployed the more a loser i am
     
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    First look after your depression when you do that you will have energy to get out and be more motivated hun. Depression will keep you so low hun talk to someone get councilling get help ok then you will have the support needed to move out and be more independant
     
  3. pingas112

    pingas112 Member

    i think i am suicidal but i don't get depressed anymore, i have the energy to do things but i wonder what the point is, that might be one of the reasons why i stop looking for work at times

    sometimes i just wonder if life was really meant for me
     
  4. Morbituarty

    Morbituarty Well-Known Member

    I think I'm exactly in the same situation as you,I don't have any motivation in life.Keep failing all my interviews,I'm 32,yeah,still living with parents too,I've done part time jobs during my studies, never done full-time,I used to enjoy cooking some years ago but not anymore,lack of motivation,and I've forgotten everything I've learnt anyway.Feel bored like hell everyday,but at least you've got a friend in real life,have you ever thought of learning to play a musical instrument?
     
  5. It sounds to me like you are depressed. If you can't find a point to keep moving forward, spend all your time on the computer, and can't find something you enjoy,you have depression. Depressed doesn't just mean feeling sad. Or being worried. The fact you wonder if life is meant for you, points to the fact that you have an undiagnosed psychological problem.

    If you don't want to go on meds you have to push yourself to exercise.Take a walk, go for a run. Limit yourself to a certain amount of time on the computer. Help your friend do things, help your parents out around the house, after all they are supporting your existence whether you want it or not. Do things that make you feel like you are needed.

    Find a temporary job that you'll settle for till you find what you really want to do. Any job you get to help you get out there on your own is not your permanent assignment for eternity.... You can always get another one later. You need to build your confidence by accomplishing things. Get a job and promise yourself that you will keep it for X amount of time and push toward that goal. Once you hit the mark, hopefully you'll feel a sense of accomplishment. Find a motivation for moving out, like taking the weight of supporting you off your parents, and making them proud. Every parent just wants their kids to thrive, you were meant to live or else you wouldn't be here. Try to experience life with out a glowing box in front of your face, you'll find it rewarding.
     
  6. pingas112

    pingas112 Member

    i'm starting to think that suicide is the best choice now, i've tried a bunch of things that i might enjoy doing but found nothing
     
  7. ekki2

    ekki2 Member

    Well this certainly seems oddly familiar!

    Merely thinking about suicide doesnt really give you the big bad "suicidal" tag. If it did, nearly everyone would be at some point in their life.

    If you found yourself planning the event, gathering necessities, writing notes or otherwise preparing the world for you not being in it - then you would be suicidal.

    If all you do is screw around on your computer, is it really that strange you feel bored with life? How is motivation supposed to find you, when closed off from the world staring at a screen? Is motivation really the problem?

    The answers to this and more can be found in many ways - including through therapy; as suggested above. (I however do not think you having an "undiagnosed psychological problem" as a matter of fact. Possibly? Perhaps. Certainly? Far from it...)

    You speak of suicide as a choice; and it is. But it is also the very final one you will ever make. Afterwards all you are and all you ever could be would be gone, with nothing left but the pain of those surrounding you. THAT is undeniably a fact.

    But I know that you WANT to live - you are here; talking about it.

    Motivation does not find you. You find it. It is a choice. It can come in many forms - ambition, aspiration, dreams and hope. Aristotle said hope is a walking dream. Interesting isnt it, that he implies movement? That is why I dont really think you are a loser. I think you are a shark! And as we know, sharks need to move to stay alive. Maybe you simply forgot to keep moving. If you found someone to help you find a direction to move in, towards - I feel pretty confident in stating that your motivation would present itself rapidly, at which point all you have to do is grab it - and hold on.


    I'll leave you with another quote by Agatha Christie that I always liked: "The secret of getting ahead is getting started."
     
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