Suicidal Boyfriend

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by Domo, Aug 17, 2008.

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  1. Domo

    Domo Guest

    My boyfriend and I are in rocky waters. I've been wanting to break up with him for a while. He threatened suicide if I break it off... What do I do? I don't want him to kill himself. And I know he's not doing it just to keep me here or to get attention. The last time we broke up, he robbed a liquor store while he was on vacation to get a bus ticket to come "make things right."

    Gahh I'm so lost. Help!
  2. Kitkat

    Kitkat Guest

    It sounds like your boyfriend is manipulating you to stay in the relationship, even if he doesn't realise it.

    Maybe what you could do is to find him a great deal of support and places he could go if he feels suicidal and then gently let him down, that way you have given him the tools to help himself, but also nicely ended things because it sounds like you don't want your relationship to go on, yet he really does and so has found himself strung along (not your fault, nor his because I can see why you are struggling to break up with him). Another option is telling someone close to him what he has said and that you intend to break up with him, so they can watch him and support him through it.

    Sometimes being friends doesn't work afterwards, and sometimes it does, but I think you need to make him understand that this relationship can go no where, and let him understand it's not his fault, and it's just how it is, unfortunately. If you explain anything about his personality he may beg you to stay with him and say he can change, and give himself false hope, and allow you to still feel trapped.

    If he DOES do anything it WON'T be your fault because you are not in control of his actions, he is. Even if he tells you it is your fault, that will be a lie because it will be his choice. If you can give him the tools to get help and support then you have done everything, and more, than you can do.

    You need to end this for both your sakes.

    Good luck!
  3. soul_searching2006

    soul_searching2006 Antiquitie's Friend

    I couldn't agree more. Staying with him because he is threatening his life is only handing over complete control to him. I understand that you don't know if he truly means it or not. You may even feel he really does mean it. But if you stay this time because of this "threat". What kind of message are you sending to him? What kind of hole are you digging for yourself? It only gets harder later on and the manipluations more creative. Be strong and remember you only get one shot at this life. You owe it to yourself to go out and make it what you want.

    You can never truly know what the outcome will be... but again, it would NOT be your fault and it is your right to seek your own happiness.
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