Suicidal but glad to still be here.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Sparky55313, Mar 8, 2011.

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  1. Sparky55313

    Sparky55313 Well-Known Member

    I am 52 years of age. Tried to take my life for many years and suck at it. How amazing how the human body is so resilient!
    The last two attempts brought me to comas, damaged my heart and I was commited to state mental health hospitals.
    My only crime was a deficet of certain chemiclas my brain requires.
    The past three years I lived on food stamps & subsidized housing....after a work carrer of earnings a CEO of a major corporation would drool at.
    I worked with a psychiatrist and worked the meds. This was a slow process but I had some hope with support from few friends.
    During this time I did research and found such simple things like therapy and chemical treatment does work. Just give it time.
    Doctors are not miracle workers. They depend on YOU to treat you.
    I changed doctors almost on a regular basis until I started to feel better....and I take their advice and prescribed meds.
    I still have major depressive disorder.
    I accept that I do and base my life around the fact.
    Deep inside I did want to live!
    I still want life!
    Depression is a life disability. I am learning to cope with it. My friends are so awesome at trying to understand it and I love them all for their efforts and trying to learn who I am.
    Most of all.......all the times I did post here I got such positive messages from administrative staff that kept me going.
    SF rocks!
  2. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Hi Krem and so glad you are such a good advocate for yourself and that you keep on plugging...that is inspiring! It is slow, but as long as the curve is upward, it is worth it...thanks again for sharing...J
  3. Sparky55313

    Sparky55313 Well-Known Member

    Today I study metaphysics and it really helps me...big time!
  4. Sedrul

    Sedrul New Member

    I am 22 years and thinking in suicide, every night, I dont know why, I wanna live, but, still Wanna get out of life, this dont make sense...
    Is stupid, I dont know What I am, or how I really feel.
    My diagnost was Borderline Personality... and the meds no works, only drugs and more drugs.... the times I feel my life is gonne, other times i have fear of death... and in others, I wanna die...
    You think that metaphysics is the way?
    I read a lot about philosophy, I have no religion, do not believe in any god, and I thought in metaphysics.
    In that moment he felt he could stop this and to think of another way?

    ps: sorry bad english.
  5. Sparky55313

    Sparky55313 Well-Known Member

    Metaphysics is a form of self help. It trains the mind & body to comply with everyday life.
    In my quest to do myself in, I was trained to turn it very positive.
    It really works and today i want life again.
    I would love to share what I have learned. PM me anytime..ok?
    Life will prevail.
  6. Thank you sparky.. It's always good to hear that someone is positive through some form of self-help.. Me too and i would be so glad to be able to exchange some knowledge with you.. :tongue: Yeah, the people in this forum is making me feeling stronger and stronger everytime i feel down and almost plagued by suicidal thoughts again.. I would like to thank them and you too.. Thanks! :hug:
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