ok, I really need some help. I've been depressed for years and often seriously suicidal, but lately I have been deeply suicidal yet not depressed. Most ppl won't or can't believe its possible but I have no job and with the job market in NOLA with no previous relevent experience to damn near anything except fast food the odds of finding a job are slim. On top of financial stress and the stress of needing to find a new place to live in 3 mos, I have no peer group so no relationship/love, and only three 'friends' I can't stand for more than 1 day a month. This is ttypically my luck, moving from an abusive household in with my father thus stopping my college because moving out of state. Rambling here I know but my life has been on a very observable downward spiral since..puberty..and now my car has another $450 repair bill on top of the 1700 I've spent the last few months. Every month I eke out a living something else f@#$s up. Any reason not to die and keep struggling??