suicidal commute

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by WannaEndit01, Sep 6, 2016.

  1. WannaEndit01

    WannaEndit01 Well-Known Member

    So I am on Bart commuting home. Just wanna die tonight in my sleep. Office was ok. Several people talked with me about new job. Learned what hadoop is. Started the morning with ge asking for exec summary. That was good. But depression makes everything look bad. Beacause it is bad. Really is. So now what? Could pull the plug tomorrow? Problem is I won't too afraid of death. That is the honest truth. I bet that's why most people won't do it on this forum.
  2. WhoaThisPlaceIsScary

    WhoaThisPlaceIsScary Well-Known Member

    Death is a strange thing.We are all going to die.Nature itself is based on competition,and consumption of other life forms for your own survival.Whoever/whatever created this reality must be terrifying.So's going to be scary probably.If you don't see this existence as created,you are blind.
  3. SillyOldBear

    SillyOldBear Teddy Bear Fanatic Staff Member Safety & Support

    I understand about commutes from hell. Used to work in Seattle. Would have to allow 2 to 2 and half hours to get there.

    But I think congrats are in order for you. Sounds like you had a decent day on the new job. Please keep at it. Success at work can often relieve depression. At least a bit. And while we are all going to die, there is no need to rush it.
  4. WannaEndit01

    WannaEndit01 Well-Known Member

    I am home now. And feeling a little better. Thank you for your response.

    WhoaThisPlaceIsScarry "If you don't see this existence as created,you are blind." What does that mean. That seems a little biblical to me. If I saw it I would not be depressed would I?

    Anyway, I am gonna do my best to go to the office again tomorrow. Stop by my new work mates area and say hi first thing. (I am in a different area in the office).

    FYI: At this moment I doing a little better.
  5. WannaEndit01

    WannaEndit01 Well-Known Member

    At the office today. I woke up un-depressed this morning. That's was weird. I went and looked at a calendar Today is actually my sixth week of prozac. Got depressed a little commuting to work. Now I am at work. Will go get some coffee I try to work through the day.
    calvinandhobbs likes this.
  6. WannaEndit01

    WannaEndit01 Well-Known Member

    So I am going to commute home in 10 minutes. Yesterday I had a major depresso meltdown on my way home. I hoping that does not happen today. But I think I can feel it coming on. Will see. If I do I will start chatting from my phone while commuting. Yesterday that helped.
    calvinandhobbs likes this.
  7. SillyOldBear

    SillyOldBear Teddy Bear Fanatic Staff Member Safety & Support

    Just remember that that depressive meltdown on your way home yesterday did end. It it comes on again, it will end too. The extreme lows really do seem to do that. You don't wind up on top of the world when they end, but you are no longer at the very bottom. Glad to see you are keeping up the fight.
    calvinandhobbs likes this.