Suicidal? Crisis?

I wasn't sure where my feelings and thoughts are belong on the forum so I chose to post it in here.

I am going through crisis and feeling suicidal... there you go.

I feel like my time is coming very close. or am I trying to keep telling myself that so I can actually kill myself???

I think it's both.

I really don't see point of trying to survive...especially only reason that I am here is for other ppl... I mean so others won't go through pains...

am I being thoughtful, responsible and still care about others more than myself???

I think so...

However I really don't see any reasons, hopes any longer.
I seriously don't even know who I am or what I am...

all those beliefs that I had toward myself... they don't exist any longer
all my strengths were just full of fears and denials...

It's really time to take care of myself. Don't care about others or anything any longer. I feel hopeful and free when I think about ending my life
that's the only thing keeps me going... does it make sense?

who cares... cuz I don't even care about myself...

I am so fucked up...
no way out
trapped with myself like this, feeling so miseralbe....

everything feels so far awya... feels like I don't belong anywhere

Oh I have an idea, I'll make it look like it was a total accident. so my family or friends won't know that I actually killed myself. Which will be less painful for them...

My time is coming...
no more anything
cuz I am nothing...

 

Your are in crisis your depression is so bad your thoughts are all irrational. Call your doctor and get help get on new medication so your cloud of depression lifts and you can see more clearly. Call and get some councilling for what ever has caused the depression Call crisis and talk to someone so your pain is relieved temporarily until help is set up for you. Call emergency go in and get some in patient help until you are stable. You are important you deserve to be happy so please reach out and make it happen. take care.

 

Hope I'm not too late with this post...

If you REALLY feel like you're about to commit suicide, think about your friends and family who will hurt. I know you already mentioned that, just think deeply about it.. I'm not one to scream "selfish" about suicide, because I have different opinions.. but I know when I am having bad thoughts and get irrational and destructive feeling, I start thinking about how it will put my mother and grandmother and boyfriend into a deep spiraling depression themselves if I were to kill myself and it brings just enough rationality back into my head to stay JUST calm enough until I feel better.

 

Thank you to you all.

I am doing much better now

 

Glad to hear you are doing better. I hope these feelings continue to improve until the thoughts are long gone. Take care coffee. :hug: