suicidal fantasies

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Vermicelli, Apr 19, 2012.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. Vermicelli

    Vermicelli New Member

    I have suicidal fantasies every day. I think that my life is pointless. Not life generally, just my life in particular, but this would apply to many people. Being unemployed and career oriented, there's no point to existing, hence my suicidal fantasies, free at last! Only I'm not man enough to do this, such a coward. Even when I'm in a relatively good mood, I imagine a red button next to me (like the ones you can buy at Staples office supply) that I can press and thereby cease to exist, to become nothingness in the blink of an eye. And who would know the difference? I even think, when I die, burn me twice, so there aren't even any ashes to dispose, to not have a funeral, to erase every trace of me, ah, what a waste I am. That's what I call perfection, because all I do is consume irreplaceable resources and create irreducible waste. But then, is this not true for all of us?
     
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Many of us have those suicidal ideations it is called depression it distorted the way we think or see thing see life really hugs to you
     
  3. Vermicelli

    Vermicelli New Member

    I've needed to have this conversation for a long time. Here it is: I don't think it's borne of depression. I'm not even clinically depressed. I'm extremely rational and cost effective. I think suicide is very rational for people who are unemployed and no one relys on them for support and who are tired of the same old same old and see no end to it. But the psychiatric industry profits from taking the opposite position, so they do. And it's "unethical" to advocate my "fantasies", so people tend not to. I think people should be encouraged to commit suicide (some cultures do, actually) especially since the planet is so overpopulated.
     
  4. Moat

    Moat Banned Member

    I have those thoughts on a daily basis and the only reason I have not acted on them is because there is always something to keep me going, even if it is only o watch the next episode of a favourite telly show. A lame reason, but one must grab hold of any excuse, quiaff?

    But I have made no secret to my sister about my funeral when I die. Simply throw my lifeless corpse off a cliff, into the ocean and let the fish have at me. None of that expensive burial crap or cremation. And, after all, fish need to eat as well, do they not?
     
  5. Vermicelli

    Vermicelli New Member

    It seems that a lot of the ideas we have about life/death are actually quite rational, if not STYLISH or POPULAR. Because what's wrong with a burial at sea? Isn't that how it was always done, generations ago, for those who lived by the sea? The desire to avoid high funeral expenses, or the funeral itself, doesn't strike me as being borne of depression, but actually quite rational. My idea of being "burned twice", i.e. a real long cremation, so there aren't even any ashes left, should be the way we dispose of ALL people when they die. And these big tomb stones and monuments people invest in after they die...how ridiculous! Another "suicide fantasy" of mine is I hike into the woods, the most remote part, with a gun and shovel, dig a whole, get in, pull the dirt in around me, then shoot myself, and return to the elements. I mean, what could be more perfect? Isn't this quite expedient? Cost effective? To not be a bother to anyone. I'm just gone! Nobody will know the difference.
     
  6. kittenette

    kittenette Well-Known Member

    I know how you feel, I don't think I'm depressed in anyway just that its a logical decision that to end my life, however I know some people will miss me and I have to deal with that first.

    Who would miss you? I try to imagine connections like old work colleges if I found out one of them can commited suicide, friends family etc anyone who might not think your a waste of space?
     
  7. Vermicelli

    Vermicelli New Member

    What do you mean they would "miss" you? Do these people visit you now? What would people think? It seems you have a life if that's what you're worried about. People who are sincere about their suicidal philosophy don't have that baggage.
     
  8. kittenette

    kittenette Well-Known Member

    I'm not good with words, and I was only trying to help besides, it was said they were just fantasies and that's how it started for me, just fantasies that evolved into realities but while it was still just thoughts over actions thinking and creating that 'bagage, kept me alive.. Do yeah just trying to help o.o
     
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.