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Suicidal Feelings

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Menekali, May 22, 2008.

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  1. Menekali

    Menekali Member

    I made a post elsewhere, I figured I'd just post the same here.

    I hate my self.

    I hate everything about my self.

    I only hurt the ones I love the most. Mostly my girlfriend.

    I hate my self. I really do. I hate everything fiber of my being.

    I'm no good, and I'm useless.

    My girlfriend of 5 1/2 years will most likely be leaving me soon. For something stupid I did. I flirted with a girl online, and it was too much. She can't trust me anymore. We broke up a little while back, and I ended up dating that girl for a while. Got back with my girlfriend, and she found out.

    I'm an idiot, I hate my self. I'm afraid I may do something stupid soon. I'm so lost, and so done with everything.

    I have no idea what to do.

    I'm 22 years old, I live in San Diego California. I've contemplated buying a bulk bottle of sleeping pills on my way home from work today, taking all of them, kissing my girlfriend goodnight one more time, telling her I'm sorry once more, and telling her I love her. Call everyone I've ever met that I have the phone number for, saying sorry that I failed them, and that I love them. Then go to sleep. And not wake up.

    I posted on a craigslist forum. Everyone keeps calling me a troll, no one believes me, or even cares anymore. I'm a lier, a fake,a flake, and I hate my self.

    This is how I feel as of late. I don't know what to do, where to go, who to talk to, or what to think. I just want... nothing. I'm scared.
    Last edited by a moderator: May 22, 2008
  2. Gunner12

    Gunner12 Well-Known Member

    Well, if this makes you feel bette, I don't hate you.

    Ignore craigslist for now.

    Have you tried writing everything down and organizing from there.

    Welcome to the forums and I hope you find the help you need.
  3. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    welcome. i think you'll find more support here than craigs list... most of us have felt as desperate and as alone as you do right now. please stick around. try writing it all down. and let us help you through this low time.
  4. Menekali

    Menekali Member

    thank you. I'll try to write it all down... it's so hard though...
  5. Gunner12

    Gunner12 Well-Known Member

    It's a start.

    If you don't know where to begin, go by your heart or start at the beginning.
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